Communication is an integral part of any relationship. The soul of healthy communication is ‘listening’. Listening is a priceless gift that you can offer others. Where there is deep listening, relationships flourish while a lack of listening hollows out the best relationships. Listening is a beautiful way to care for others. The practice of listening is unlikely to be fruitless, particularly in close and intimate relationships.
What is listening? Listening is not the same as hearing. Hearing involves gaining information, often for your own purposes. When you hear but do not listen, you focus on yourself and what is going on inside you. Norman Wright, a prominent counselor of family, child, and trauma in America, says, “Listening involves caring for and being empathic toward the person who is talking… Listening means that you are trying to understand the feelings of the other person and are listening for his or her sake”.[1]
Listening, contrary to hearing, is other-centered and focuses on what is happening inside the other person with the intention of understanding and caring for them. Listening enables one to understand the feelings of the other person, even those that are not expressed in words.
Hearing can happen due to obligation, fear, societal pressures, or pleasing others. On the other hand, listening emerges spontaneously in a deep sense of love and is geared toward caring for the other as best one can. Listening nourishes the roots of a relationship and strengthens the bond between persons.
Next time you communicate with a dear one notice whether you are hearing or listening.
[1] Norman Wright, Communication: Key to Your Marriage – The Secret to True Happiness, Ventura CA: Regal, 1995.
Hearing is for ears listening is from the heart. Both hearing and heart have "ear" in between. It's a matter of which one you use when you're having conversations.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful article with actual understanding of listening of human behaviour😊
ReplyDeleteGreat article! In this busy world we often forget to listen.
ReplyDeleteGood one
ReplyDeleteLoved it. At Mass I often take note of how individuals are listening and of those just hearing. It is very interesting but does that make me a hearer or a listener ?
ReplyDeleteA wonderful article & worthy of hearing with our minds, hearts and souls.Thank you dear Father John .
Enriching article. Today many people want to pour out their hearts, there is so much pain and anxiety. It is a challenge placed before the religious. Are we ready to listen. Listening is a blessing to both, the one talking and the one listening.
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