11 Ways to Cope With Stress

Stress is influenced not only by what happens to us but also by how we interpret a situation and evaluate our ability to handle it (Lazarus & Folkman, 1984). Although we may not be able to remove every source of stress, we can choose healthy responses that restore calm, energy, and perspective. Drawing on LeAnn Thieman’s practical suggestions, the following 11 strategies can help.

1. Smile Intentionally

Even when you do not feel like smiling, try holding a gentle smile for about 30 seconds. This simple action may help interrupt tension and shift your emotional state.

2. Practice Relaxation Breathing

Slow, deep breathing helps calm the body and reduce physical tension. Breathe in gently, pause briefly, and exhale slowly.

3. Visualize a Calm Response

Picture yourself handling the stressful situation with patience, confidence, and self-control. Mental rehearsal can prepare you to respond rather than react.

4. Take a Time-Out

Step away briefly when emotions become intense. Listen to calming music, enjoy humor, sit in silence, or engage in another peaceful activity.

5. Exercise

Physical movement helps release built-up tension. Walking, stretching, climbing stairs, or doing a short workout can restore energy and focus.

6. Spend Time Outdoors

Fresh air and contact with nature can clear the mind. Even a brief outdoor walk may provide distance from repetitive and stressful thoughts.

7. Pray

Prayer can create an inner space for reflection, surrender, and renewed strength. It helps us place our concerns within a larger perspective.

8. Eat Nutritiously

Stress can easily disrupt healthy eating habits. Balanced meals, adequate protein, and regular nourishment help the body maintain energy and emotional stability.

9. Get Enough Sleep

Rest is essential during stressful periods. Adequate sleep supports clearer thinking, emotional regulation, and physical recovery.

10. Sing

Singing can lift the spirit and provide emotional release. It reconnects us with joy, hope, and creativity.

11. Share Your Feelings

Talk with someone you trust or write your thoughts in a journal. Naming what you feel often reduces its intensity and brings greater clarity.

Coping with stress does not mean denying difficulty. It means recognizing that we still have choices. Small, repeated acts of self-care can help us move from feeling overwhelmed to feeling more grounded, supported, and capable.

Notes

Lazarus, R. S., & Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, appraisal, and coping. Springer.

Thieman, L. (2008). SelfCare for HealthCare: Your guide to physical, mental, and spiritual health. SelfCare for HealthCare.

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11 Ways to Cope With Stress

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“No One Cares”: A Spiritual Symptom of Stress

LeAnn Thieman identifies the thought “No one cares” as a spiritual symptom of stress. This is more than frustration or physical exhaustion. It reflects a deeper wound: the feeling that one’s efforts, pain, and presence no longer matter.

Caregivers, whether professionals serving their clients or family members caring for a sick relative, are especially vulnerable to this experience. They spend much of their time attending to others’ needs, often neglecting their own emotional and spiritual well-being. When appreciation is absent, support is limited, and responsibilities continue to increase, they may begin to feel invisible. The question beneath “No one cares” may actually be, “Does my life and service have meaning?”

Viktor Frankl offers an important psychological insight here. He believed that the search for meaning is one of the deepest human needs. People can endure suffering and difficulty when they remain connected to a purpose, a person, or a value greater than themselves. However, when meaning becomes clouded, stress can turn into emptiness, resentment, or despair.

Christian Scripture responds directly to this spiritual wound: “Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). The verse does not deny the burden. It invites the caregiver to stop carrying it alone. Even when human recognition is absent, God’s care remains present.

Frankl does not suggest that people should simply tolerate unhealthy conditions. Rather, he reminds us that even when circumstances cannot immediately be changed, we can still choose how we respond. We can reconnect with the values that first inspired our service, seek relationships in which we are genuinely seen, and recognize that our worth is not determined by how much praise we receive.

The feeling that “no one cares” should not be ignored. It may be an invitation to pause, receive care, speak honestly, and rediscover meaning. Sometimes healing begins when we remember that the caregiver, too, is held in care.

Notes

Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man’s search for meaning. Beacon Press. (Original work published 1946). 

Thieman, L. (2012). SelfCare for HealthCare: Your guide to physical, mental, and spiritual health. Priority Publishing. 

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No One Cares”: A Spiritual Symptom of Stress

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When Assumptions Become Suffering

Much of our suffering does not come only from what happened. It comes from what we assume happened.

Don Miguel Ruiz warns that the mind quickly fills in what it does not know. We assume that someone is angry with us, does not value us, or intentionally ignores us. We may also expect people who love us to automatically know what we need. Then, when they fail to meet expectations we never clearly expressed, we feel hurt, rejected, or resentful.

The deeper problem is that we often treat our assumptions as facts.

Psychiatrist Aaron Beck, one of the founders of cognitive therapy, described a similar pattern. He identified “mind reading” as a cognitive distortion—the tendency to believe that we know what another person is thinking without enough evidence. A delayed reply becomes “They do not care.” A tired expression becomes, “They are upset with me.” A disagreement becomes “They do not respect me.”

Once the assumption takes hold, our emotions begin responding to the story as though it were true. We may become anxious, angry, defensive, or distant—not because of what the other person actually intended, but because of the meaning we assigned to the situation.

Jesus offers a corrective when he says, “Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment” (John 7:24). Right judgment requires more than a first impression. It asks us to pause, listen, seek clarity, and remain open to the possibility that our interpretation may be incomplete.

This is both a spiritual and psychological discipline. Before reacting, we can ask: What do I actually know? What am I only assuming? Is there another possible explanation? Have I spoken honestly with the person involved?

Assumptions close the heart around a story. Truth opens the heart to reality.

Wisdom begins when we replace assumption with curiosity, accusation with conversation, and appearance with truth.

Notes

Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. International Universities Press.

Ruiz, D. M. (1997). The four agreements: A practical guide to personal freedom. Amber-Allen Publishing.

 

Prayer of the Whole Person

We often think of prayer as something we do mainly with words. We speak to God, recite familiar prayers, or sit silently. Yet prayer involves far more than the lips. It gathers the whole person—mind, body, emotions, attention, and desire—into the presence of God.

Neuroscientist Andrew Newberg studied experienced Franciscan nuns while they engaged in contemplative prayer through the inward repetition of a sacred phrase. Brain imaging showed changes in blood flow in areas involved in focused attention and language (Newberg et al., 2003). The study was small and preliminary, so it does not explain every experience of prayer. Still, it offers an important insight: prayer is not merely passive. The brain participates as we concentrate, remember sacred words, and direct our attention toward God.

Centuries earlier, John Cassian taught something similar from spiritual experience. Drawing upon the wisdom of the Desert Fathers, he understood prayer as more than a brief religious exercise. Our whole way of living prepares us to pray. What fills our minds, shapes our habits, and moves our hearts eventually enters our prayer.

Prayer, then, is not an escape from our humanity. It is the offering of our humanity. We bring our distracted thoughts, tired bodies, fears, gratitude, longings, and love.

Thomas of Celano said of St. Francis of Assisi that he was “not so much praying as becoming totally prayer.” Prayer had moved beyond particular words and moments. It had shaped the person he was becoming.

This is the deeper invitation: not only to say prayers, but to let prayer transform how we think, speak, work, suffer, love, and live. God invites the whole person—until, little by little, our life itself becomes prayer.

 

Notes

Cassian, J. (1997). The conferences (B. Ramsey, Trans.). Paulist Press.

Newberg, A., Pourdehnad, M., Alavi, A., & d’Aquili, E. (2003). Cerebral blood flow during meditative prayer: Preliminary findings and methodological issues. Perceptual and Motor Skills, 97(2), 625–630. https://doi.org/10.2466/pms.2003.97.2.625

Thomas of Celano. (2000). The remembrance of the desire of a soul. In R. J. Armstrong, J. A. W. Hellmann, & W. J. Short (Eds.), Francis of Assisi: Early documents: Vol. 2. The founder (pp. 233–393). New City Press.

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Prayer of the Whole Person

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Perfection Redefined: Holy, Not Flawless

What does it mean to be perfect?

Ronald Rolheiser contrasts two understandings of perfection. In the Greek ideal, perfection means having no faults, weaknesses, or deficiencies. A perfect person measures up to an ideal standard. In the Hebrew understanding, however, perfection means continuing to walk faithfully with God despite our flaws (Rolheiser, 2014).

This distinction matters because the desire to be flawless can become a heavy burden.

Psychologists Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett describe three forms of perfectionism. Self-oriented perfectionism demands flawlessness from oneself. Other-oriented perfectionism expects others to meet unrealistic standards. Socially prescribed perfectionism is the belief that others will value or accept us only when we are perfect (Hewitt & Flett, 1991).

These pressures can quietly enter our spiritual lives. We may believe that God will love us only when we stop struggling. We may judge others harshly because they fail to meet our expectations. Or we may hide our weaknesses, fearing that people will reject us if they see who we truly are.

But holiness is not the same as flawlessness.

Christian maturity is not the construction of a perfect image. It is the willingness to remain honest, open, and faithful before God. A holy person is not someone who never falls, but someone who keeps allowing grace to lift, correct, and transform them.

This does not excuse harmful behavior or remove our responsibility to grow. Instead, it gives growth a healthier foundation. We can face our failures without deciding that we ourselves are failures.

Perhaps perfection is not a spotless life. Perhaps it is a heart that stays open—to truth, mercy, correction, and love. God does not wait for us at the end of perfection. God walks with us through the unfinished journey.

To be holy is not to be flawless. It is to keep walking with God.

Notes

Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (1991). Perfectionism in the self and social contexts: Conceptualization, assessment, and association with psychopathology. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60(3), 456–470. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.60.3.456

Rolheiser, R. (2014). Sacred fire: A vision for a deeper human and Christian maturity. Image.

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Perfection Redefined: Holy, Not Flawless

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I Shall Go to Him: Grieving With Hope

One of the most painful stories in the Bible is David grieving the death of his infant son. When the child became ill, David fasted, wept, and spent the night lying on the ground. He pleaded with God for the child’s life. But when the child died, David rose, washed himself, worshiped, and ate. His servants were confused. David then said, “I shall go to him, but he will not return to me” (2 Samuel 12:23).

This is not an easy story. It does not explain the mystery surrounding a child’s death or a loved one’s. It does not offer quick comfort or simple answers. But it does reveal something deeply human and spiritual: love does not end when death comes.

Psychologists Dennis Klass, Phyllis Silverman, and Steven Nickman speak of “continuing bonds” in grief. In earlier understandings, people often thought healing meant letting go and moving on. But grief research has shown that many people heal by finding a new way to remain connected with the one they have lost. The relationship changes, but love remains.

David’s words carry this quiet hope. He knows his child will not return to him in this life. Yet he also believes that the bond is not completely broken. “I shall go to him.” These words do not erase his sorrow, but they give his sorrow a direction.

For parents grieving a child, this can be a tender truth. You do not have to remove your child from your heart in order to heal. You do not have to “move on” as if love has ended. You can carry your child in prayer, memory, gratitude, tears, and hope.

Faith does not ask us to deny grief. It invites us to grieve with love. In God, no love is wasted, no tear is unseen, and no child is forgotten.

Death changes the relationship, but it does not destroy love.

Notes

Klass, D., Silverman, P. R., & Nickman, S. L. (Eds.). (1996). Continuing bonds: New understandings of grief. Taylor & Francis.

 

The Trinity: Connected to the Ocean of God

A beautiful legend attributed to St. Augustine tells of a day when he was reflecting on the mystery of the Holy Trinity. As he walked along the seashore, he saw a child trying to pour the ocean into a small hole in the sand. Augustine said, “That is impossible. The ocean is too vast, and the hole is too small.” The child replied that it would be even more impossible for Augustine to fully grasp the mystery of the Triune God with his limited mind.

The story reminds us that the Trinity is not a puzzle to be solved but a mystery to be entered. God cannot be reduced to our small categories. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are not an idea we master, but a communion of love into which we are invited.

Yet, perhaps we can extend the image. We cannot pour the ocean into the hole. But we can connect the hole to the ocean by making a small canal. The hole still does not contain the ocean, but it is no longer separated from it. Fresh water flows in and out. It remains alive because it remains connected.

This is a beautiful image for the spiritual life. We may never fully understand God, but we can remain connected to God. Every prayer, every act of love, every moment of silence, every experience of forgiveness becomes a small inflow from the ocean of divine life.

Psychologists Dacher Keltner and Jonathan Haidt describe awe as the experience of standing before something vast that stretches our understanding. Awe humbles us, but it also opens us. It teaches us that reality is larger than our control.

The Trinity invites this kind of awe. We do not need to empty the ocean of God into our minds. We need to keep the canal open. And as we remain connected, the ocean of God keeps refreshing the small shore of our lives.

We cannot contain the ocean of God, but we can stay connected to its life-giving flow.

Notes

Boodts, S. (2019, February 6). The child by the seaside: A medieval story about Saint Augustine. Medievalists.net. https://www.medievalists.net/2019/02/the-child-by-the-seaside-a-medieval-story-about-saint-augustine/

Keltner, D., & Haidt, J. (2003). Approaching awe, a moral, spiritual, and aesthetic emotion. Cognition and Emotion, 17(2), 297–314. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699930302297

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Hi,

I hope this email finds you in good health of mind, body, and soul. This week's theme is “The Trinity: Connected to the Ocean of God.”

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