“Sansa Kroma”: A Song of Communal Care

"Sansa Kroma" is a traditional children’s song from Ghana’s Akan people, rich with meaning and cultural wisdom. The name itself — Sansa (hawk) and Kroma (a type of bird) — tells the story of a young hawk who becomes lost but is lovingly brought back to its mother by the community.

The song’s lyrics, translated meaningfully, say:

Sansa Kroma, you are an orphan.
You will fly and fly, but you won’t get lost.
The community will raise you.

It is a tender assurance that no child is ever truly alone — even in the absence of parents, the village stands ready to guide and protect.

This principle of communal responsibility was once a living truth in many cultures. Today, it is slipping away.

What’s Changing?

Modern life has made parenting more private. Many young families now raise children far from extended relatives, often valuing independence over connection. Our social circles have shrunk. We desire freedom and privacy, but the cost is high — children lose the richness of being shaped by multiple lives and voices.

Another reason for this shift is a growing mistrust of the older generation. Young parents, armed with current knowledge and modern tools, often believe they know best — and to a large extent, they do. But in turning away from elders completely, we discard wisdom earned through long years of experience — wisdom that cannot be found in books or screens.

Why Community Still Matters

A child raised by only one or two adults learns a narrow version of life. But in community, children see multiple ways to live, cope, and grow. A grandparent may teach patience, an uncle may model resilience, and a neighbor may show quiet generosity.

Children who grow in the company of elders and extended family often develop deeper emotional intelligence and adaptability. They gain a sense of rootedness — a confidence that life, though uncertain, is held by many hands.

Can We Still Be the Village?

“Sansa Kroma” asks us a gentle but pressing question: can we still promise our children they won’t be lost — because we are here to find them?

Let us remember that parenting was never meant to be a solo journey. Let us rebuild our sense of community, one relationship at a time — for the sake of our children, and for the healing of us all.

 

The Last Three Rooms: Surrendering Fully to God

Evangelist Matthew narrates an incident. A rich young man approached Jesus, asking, "What must I do to gain eternal life?" Jesus answered, "Follow the commandments: love God and your neighbor." The young man replied, "I have been practicing these since my youth." Then Jesus told him, "If you want to be perfect, give all your wealth to the poor and follow me."

Theologian Ronald Rolheiser offers an intriguing perspective on this story. He argues that it is more about giving God 100% of ourselves rather than a condemnation of wealth or rich people being unfit for eternal life. The young man in the story was not evil or immoral. He was a good person who fulfilled his duties, worked hard, and loved both God and his neighbor. Yet, he felt a sense of emptiness and lack of joy. In fact, Jesus loved him for his good life.

Rolheiser suggests that the young man was like someone with a mansion of 30 rooms. He had given 27 of those rooms to God but kept three for himself. Jesus’ invitation was to offer all 30 rooms to God in order to find perfect joy and meaning. However, the young man struggled to give up those last three rooms.

This story reflects a universal challenge. Regardless of whether we’ve made religious commitments, embraced married life, or pursued other callings, we often hold back a part of ourselves from God. We may work hard, follow rules, and engage in acts of charity, yet we still reserve certain things for ourselves—perhaps 10%. This reserved portion might include habits, attachments, or anxieties about the future. Offering 100% to God is extremely difficult, as we cling to the last 10% as compensation for the 90% we have given.

A genuine reflection on our lives and relationship with God often reveals that we are still holding back some rooms in our mansion. The more we surrender of ourselves to God, the closer we come to experiencing true joy and the abundance of life.

 

Notes

Mathew 19: 16-26, NRSV

Rolheiser, R. (2014). Sacred fire: A vision for a deeper human and Christian maturity. Image, p. 141.

Grace: Power Beyond Willpower

Willpower is one of the most valuable gifts humans possess. With sheer determination, we can achieve many difficult things—perform well in a competition, face financial hardships, or overcome various fears and challenges. However, willpower has its limits. It can only take us so far, often stalling when we encounter paths it has never trodden. Where willpower falters, the grace of God triumphs.

            Henry Nouwen defines grace as, “The experience of the loving presence of God in our lives, making us more fully alive.” Grace is the undying presence and gentle power of God that enables us to move forward when we feel paralyzed, when it seems we have reached a dead end. Ronald Rolheiser observes that those who have overcome addiction deeply understand this truth: they are saved by God's grace, not by willpower alone. In the end, they didn’t do it on their own; it was God's grace—working in miraculous ways—that transformed their lives.

Grace is not only crucial when we face monumental failures, like battling addiction, but also in any process that requires deep inner transformation or a shift to a new life. By sheer willpower, we cannot truly change or become new. Even if we do change, our old habits often draw us back. Our repeated struggles with breaking bad habits or overcoming addictions show us that certain things in life can only be accomplished through God’s grace.

So, do we want to let go of something harmful, fight an addiction, or embrace a new way of living? Grace is the answer. By opening ourselves to God in complete dependence on His grace, we allow Him to work wonders in our lives.

Notes 

Nouwen, H. (1988). The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey. Harper & Row.

Rolheiser, R. (2014). Sacred fire: A vision for a deeper human and Christian maturity. Image, pp. 129-130.

 

 

3 Ways to Defeat Fear

Fear is a powerful emotion—one that can quietly shape our decisions, shrink our dreams, and hold us back from living fully. Sometimes it is loud and obvious, but more often, it whispers in the background, convincing us to play small, stay safe, or avoid what really matters. While fear is a natural part of being human, it doesn’t have to control us. The good news is: fear can be faced, understood, and even transformed.

Don Miguel Ruiz refers to fear as a parasite—something that feeds on us from within. He offers three practical ways to defeat this inner parasite and reclaim the freedom and courage that already live within us.

1. Attack Each Head of the Parasite

The first solution, Ruiz says, is to “attack the parasite head by head.” This means facing our fears one by one—bit by bit. For example, we might begin by confronting the fear of expressing our opinions, the fear of trying new things, or the fear of rejection. This is a slow and gradual process, but it works. With each small victory, we become more empowered to live authentically, confidently, and joyfully.

2. Starve the Parasite

Another way to defeat fear, Ruiz recommends, is to starve the parasite. Fear thrives on negative emotions—especially those connected to the fear of loss. We fear losing a job, a relationship, approval, or something else we value deeply. But when we stop feeding these emotions—when we consciously choose not to dwell in fear or anxiety—we weaken the parasite. Though challenging, this shift in focus takes away its power, and over time, fear begins to fade.

3. Die to Self

Ruiz calls the third way “the initiation of the dead”—a symbolic death of the self. But it is not about harming ourselves. It is about releasing the ego, letting go of self-centered desires, and shedding the false identity built on fear. Dying to self means surrendering our personal will and choosing to live more fully for God. When we die to our old, limited self, the parasite of fear has no place to live—and what remains is our true self: free, fearless, and deeply authentic.

Defeating fear is not merely an option—it is a necessity if we want to live joyful, fulfilling lives. The three practices above offer a clear and courageous path forward. We can overcome the parasite of fear and embrace a life of joy, freedom, and authenticity.

Notes

Ruiz, D. M. (1997). The four agreements: A practical guide to personal freedom (pp. 104-105). Amber-Allen Publishing.

Breaking Free from Fear’s Prison

"The only real prison is fear, and the only real freedom is freedom from fear."

This quote is widely attributed to Aung San Suu Kyi, the Burmese pro-democracy leader and Nobel Peace Prize laureate. And it's true—fear can become the darkest and most confining prison we inhabit. These prisons take many forms, shaped by different kinds of fear. Sometimes, they're built from imagined threats—fears that don’t even exist—yet they hold us back from living naturally, openly, and freely.

Children are often pointed to as examples of what it means to be truly free. If you watch a two-year-old, you'll notice they do exactly what they feel like doing. According to Don Miguel Ruiz, a child is “just like a flower, a tree, or an animal that has not been domesticated—wild.” The child is natural, spontaneous, and lives without the pressure of pleasing others or acting out of fear. In this uninhibited state, a child is often seen with a big, joyful smile.

But what happens to us as adults? Why do we live in fear and assume it's normal?

Don Ruiz offers two explanations for why we end up in the prisons of fear:

First, a child lives fully in the present moment. They explore their world freely and aren't afraid to play. Yes, they may feel sad or scared when they’re hurt or hungry, but as Ruiz notes, “they don’t worry about the past, don’t care about the future, and only live in the present moment.” While it’s true that adults need to plan ahead, living in the future often leads to fear and anxiety. That’s why Jesus said, “Do not worry about tomorrow” (Matthew 6:34). He reminds us that the present moment is where life truly happens, and it's where peace can be found.

Second, young children are not afraid to express their emotions—to love and to be loved. When offered love, they melt into it and give it back freely. Adults, on the other hand, often develop tough shells that block both receiving and giving love. It's a quiet tragedy to go through life with our hearts locked up, never allowing love to enter or flow out.

We need to reclaim our natural state—our birthright—to be happy and free. If we can begin to live more in the present and allow love to move freely through us, we can begin breaking free from fear’s prison. In doing so, we return to the joy, simplicity, and freedom we were always meant to live in.

Notes

Ruiz, D. M. (1997). The four agreements: A practical guide to personal freedom (pp. 94-95). Amber-Allen Publishing.