The Bad Mask

 

           A true journey towards discovering the authentic self must involve shedding all duplicity and duality. The three masks which one needs to remove to find one’s pure self are the bad, the neutral and the good. 

Let us begin by reflecting on what the ‘bad mask’ is. The bad mask can include the use of arrogance, anger, rigidity, black-and-white thinking, pleasing others, other unethical behaviors and means of livelihood and many more such. The individuals who use the above tactics for personal gain, whether material or immaterial, are wearing the bad mask. The person who wears the bad mask might not even be aware that s/he is wearing one and how it causes pain and damage to others and to him/her. A person in authority might justify humiliating employees as necessary to get the task done or that one should get angry to prove to others that s/he is the boss or that one must give in to others’ demands to be accepted by them. The individuals using the bad mask may even try to convince others and also themselves that such tactics are required to be successful in life.

Using any of the above-mentioned unhealthy thinking or behavior for a long time makes even the individual believe that it is his/her real self. Putting on the bad mask leads to frustration and fractures in relationships not only with others but also with oneself.  

           Self-awareness can light up the process of recognizing and peeling off the various forms the bad mask assumes in one’s life.

One way to grow in self-awareness is to sit down with oneself daily and ask questions of oneself, such as

1. Why do I do what I do?

2. What are the consequences of my thought and behavior for others and me?

3. What do others feel about my behavior?

4. Do I tend to hide some things from others and project what I am not?

5. Who benefits and how by the way I appear in front of others?

Another effective way is to ask a friend or mentor, who you know would be honest, his/her feedback on your life aspects.

Gradually but certainly awareness can help one to find one’s pure self.