The Story of a Sufi: "Change the World by Changing Me"

Anthony de Mello, a Jesuit priest, spiritual teacher, writer, and psychotherapist, in his book, The Song of the Bird, narrates a story about the Sufi Bayazid: “I was a revolutionary when I was young and all my prayer to God was: ‘Lord, give me the energy to change the world.’ As I approached middle age and realized that half my life was gone without my changing a single soul, I changed my prayer to: ‘Lord, give me the grace to change all those who come in contact with me. Just my family and friends, and I shall be satisfied.’ Now that I am an old man and my days are numbered, my one prayer is, ‘Lord, give me the grace to change myself.’ If I had prayed for this right from the start I should not have wasted my life.”

It is a human tendency to remove the speck from the eye of our neighbour rather than first remove the log from one’s eyes. We love to criticize, correct, change and better the whole world without spending any effort on knowing ourselves and thus working on the areas which need change and growth. We are often reluctant to change ourselves because we spend a lot of energy and time changing others. The result of such restless endeavours is frustration, anger, and hopelessness. 

            We try to change others in many ways; some of which are as follows:

·       When someone hurts us by their words or actions we wage war in our minds for months and years thinking about how they could do to us what they did. 

·       We want people to think and behave as we do.

·       We want our children, members of our congregation, and friends to opt for the profession/apostolate that we like without considering the interests and gifts these individuals may have. 

·       We try to convince others that the foods we eat in our region are better than theirs.

·       When we seek the opinion of others, what we actually seek is their agreement with what we already believe. 

·       When someone points out our mistakes we get disturbed and try to find bigger faults in the one who points out our mistakes. 

To change is painful but not to change is more painful. Change is life and not to change is death. 

Let us realize the need for change in our lives. It is by changing ourselves that we can inspire others to change and grow.  

Notes

Mt. 7: 3-5, “Log in one’s eye.”

Anthony de Mello, The Song of the Bird, 1982