Comparative Awareness

           Human beings are gifted in many ways. One unique gift that humans have is awareness. We become aware of ourselves, other people, and the world around us. Thus, becoming aware of our life and the context we are in, we can make appropriate choices and grow into better versions of ourselves. And that’s amazing! Unfortunately, there is a downside to this awareness — we can start comparing ourselves to others and even to our fantasised-future-version. 

           Acknowledging our limitations and growing edges is warranted but chasing unrealistic goals leads to misery and depression. We can fantasize about many future versions of ourselves in our heads and begin to compare them to who we really are; this can create a sense of failure and inferiority. 

It is possible that animals can feel sad and become depressed if beaten or if they lose their caretaker or another animal close to them. However, they do not get miserable by comparing themselves to other animals or to their slim, smart, or wealthy ideal selves. 

Humans get stressed by responding to diverse life situations such as sickness, failure, and loss of a dear one. Unfortunately, and very often, humans also get depressed by responding to imaginary situations and expectations we have created in our mind. Unlike animals, humans have the power to imagine, to compare the current and future versions of ourselves, and to be aware of the gap, in certain cases a delusional and unattainable one. 

Again, it is desirable that we keep growing, but we need to renounce any delusional comparison with others and with our own unrealistic imagined versions. A constant dehumanizing comparison of ourselves with the selves we have created in our heads can become a civil war within us. This way, we add numerous, unwanted, yet avoidable, imaginary battles to our daily life challenges. Sadly, we can end up fighting and pursuing things that do not even exist in reality.

Our self-awareness, if we want to be healthy and grow, needs to be compassionate and encouraging, and not competitive and comparative.

References

Gilbert, P (2013). The compassionate mind. Robinson.