Own Your Story

We must realize that our story matters and needs to be shared. The following guidelines offered by Viola Davis can help us own our story and have the courage to share it with others.[1]   

I Am Doing the Best I Can

            We need to stop chastising ourselves nonstop and mercilessly. Most people try their best according to what they know best. We can remind ourselves, particularly when we fail despite our trying, “I am doing the best I can.”

I Will Allow Myself to be Seen

            It is the default tendency of the mind to hide from others what is broken, messy, and hurtful. Often, a deep-down fear in us can lead us to not show our wounds to others because they might despise and reject us. Perhaps the other person is undergoing the same struggle, too. Can we break through the barrier, allow ourselves to be seen, and thus move toward a relationship based on authenticity and freedom? If we are afraid to be seen by others, then we are not yet free to own our story. We are not free to connect with others.

Do Not Leave Anything on the Floor

            There can be hindrances in sharing our story fully and honestly, again for fear of not being good enough and consequently assuming rejection by others. “Go further. Don’t be afraid. Put it all out there. Don’t leave anything on the floor”.[2] Let us own our story entirely; if we do not, who will? 

            It is sad if our story remains unknown and we die a mystery even to people who are close to us. Davis states, “I will not be a mystery to my daughter. She will know me and I will share my stories with her—the stories of failure, shame, and accomplishment.”[3]  Can we have the courage to own our story fully and to share it with those who deserve to know? 

People who impact our lives are those who are authentic and dare to share their stories not only of grace but also of shame, not only of cheers but also of tears.

             

 

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[1] Davis, V. in Brown B. (2017). Braving the Wilderness. Random House.

[2] Davis, V. in Brown B. (2017). Braving the Wilderness.

[3] Davis, V. in Brown B. (2017). Braving the Wilderness.

Your Story Matters

            We read and share stories found in history or written by famous authors. There is no harm in sharing those stories if they build connections and offer insights into our human nature. 

Viola Davis, American actress, who in 2017 was listed by Time magazine as one of the most influential top one hundred people in the world, says that to believe that the only stories worth sharing are from the past or found in books is not true and limits the expression and joy of our lives.[1]

Every story matters. My story matters. Your story matters.

Davis adds, “We are all worthy of telling our stories and having them heard. We all need to be seen and honored in the same way that we all need to breathe.”[2]

We need to muster the courage to tell our stories as they are in their uniqueness. Our stories do not need to have great success (there is no true story only having success, by the way). We need to honor joys as well as sorrows, successes as well as failure, laughter as well as tears, connection as well as brokenness, all intertwined in the story of our life. 

            Our stories can be sacred if we see them with humility and through God’s eyes. We are empowered to share our stories only if we look compassionately at ourselves, particularly the broken pieces in our lives. 

Sharing our stories not only deepens relationships but also brings healing and courage to both, the storyteller, and the listener. 

Can we start looking at our stories with compassion and with a sense of sacredness? Can we share our stories with people who listen and care?

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[1] Davis, V. in Brown B. (2017). Braving the Wilderness. Random House.

[2] Davis, V. in Brown B. (2017). Braving the Wilderness.

Buried Alive

Buried Alive — I am not talking about the Hollywood movie! Part of being human is experiencing feelings and emotions, such as sadness, joy, anger, peace, loneliness, connection, and love. If you find friends, family, and a social network that understand your experiences and support you in your growth and self-actualization then you can readily feel alive. However, given that human nature is imperfect, people do not and will not always understand you and support you. You can experience hurt caused by others implicitly or even explicitly. You can have experiences where the people you thought would be supportive turn out to be exploitative and damaging. Experiences of rejection, betrayal, and hurt, including those that happened many years ago or in childhood can make you feel suspicious, defensive, and withdrawn in your current experiences and relationships. You can unconsciously start building walls around you for protection so that you do not get hurt again. 

It is true that you need to be prudent and not allow yourself to be an easy prey for anyone to exploit and hurt you. However, there is a line that if crossed you start entering the realm of constant fear, numbness, and/or isolation. The shield that you created with the initial intention of protecting yourself from any possible hurtful experience can transform into a coffin. A coffin in which you bury yourself alive. Wherever you go or with whomever you interact you can remain in your coffin for fear of being hurt. You do not allow any positive emotions, love, and intimacy to enter your space. And you curb yourself from sharing your feelings, thoughts, and aspirations. You live within yourself, entombed within your invisible coffin, buried alive. 

To be human is to love and be loved. Love is a package where you experience connection, joy, and support but also experience misunderstandings, failures, and hurt. There is no love without the risk of getting hurt. Can you open yourself to the mystery of love? Can you once again begin to trust and be exposed to experiences and relationships that can bring you joy and deeper connections? Can you muster the courage to break open your coffin and emerge to be fully alive?