Buried Alive

Buried Alive — I am not talking about the Hollywood movie! Part of being human is experiencing feelings and emotions, such as sadness, joy, anger, peace, loneliness, connection, and love. If you find friends, family, and a social network that understand your experiences and support you in your growth and self-actualization then you can readily feel alive. However, given that human nature is imperfect, people do not and will not always understand you and support you. You can experience hurt caused by others implicitly or even explicitly. You can have experiences where the people you thought would be supportive turn out to be exploitative and damaging. Experiences of rejection, betrayal, and hurt, including those that happened many years ago or in childhood can make you feel suspicious, defensive, and withdrawn in your current experiences and relationships. You can unconsciously start building walls around you for protection so that you do not get hurt again. 

It is true that you need to be prudent and not allow yourself to be an easy prey for anyone to exploit and hurt you. However, there is a line that if crossed you start entering the realm of constant fear, numbness, and/or isolation. The shield that you created with the initial intention of protecting yourself from any possible hurtful experience can transform into a coffin. A coffin in which you bury yourself alive. Wherever you go or with whomever you interact you can remain in your coffin for fear of being hurt. You do not allow any positive emotions, love, and intimacy to enter your space. And you curb yourself from sharing your feelings, thoughts, and aspirations. You live within yourself, entombed within your invisible coffin, buried alive. 

To be human is to love and be loved. Love is a package where you experience connection, joy, and support but also experience misunderstandings, failures, and hurt. There is no love without the risk of getting hurt. Can you open yourself to the mystery of love? Can you once again begin to trust and be exposed to experiences and relationships that can bring you joy and deeper connections? Can you muster the courage to break open your coffin and emerge to be fully alive?