Intellectual Suicide: When Beliefs Become Prisons

People commit suicide based on their flawed understanding of the world, others, and themselves. Similarly, intellectual suicide happens when one clings rigidly to outdated, unhealthy beliefs without allowing room for growth. This refusal to re-examine one’s understanding of God, others, and life stifles personal development. Alan Watts, in The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are, argues that unwavering commitment to any belief is not only intellectual suicide but also an act of “positive unfaith,” as it closes the mind to new perspectives. He states, “Faith is, above all, openness—an act of trust in the unknown.”

For faith to be genuine and healthy, it must embrace the unknown, allowing space for divine guidance. This means accepting that we do not have all the answers and that our current beliefs may be flawed. True faith is a continuous journey, defined by openness to divine wisdom that transcends our limited understanding. Faith that closes the heart and mind is not faith; rather, it is an egoistic attachment to what one already knows. It prevents God from teaching us something new. Real faith requires mystery, humility, and the willingness to question and evolve.

Intellectual suicide disconnects individuals from God, others, and the fullness of life. It traps them in a self-imposed prison, severing their relationship with reality and depriving them of the divine experiences that unfold daily in fresh and subtle ways.

Notes

Watts, A. ( 1989). The book: On the taboo against knowing who you are. Vintage Books. 

Why Some Relationships Do Not Work

Some relationships fail, even when you have good intentions and a kind heart. Barbara De Angelis, an American relationship consultant and renowned author, provides two primary reasons for why this happens. While her insights are centered on romantic relationships, they can also be applied to friendships and other types of connections.

1. Right Person, Loving Wrong 

You may be with the right person, but the way you love is unhelpful or even harmful. This can include poor communication, failure to express your needs, or allowing frustrations to build until they result in exhaustion and resentment. You might struggle with maintaining intimacy or neglect the relationship by not devoting enough time and energy to it.

2. Loving Right, Wrong Person 

You may love in the right way, but you are with the wrong person. Your values, lifestyle, or long-term goals may not align. The person you are with might have harmful behaviors, such as substance abuse or being emotionally abusive, or may simply be unable to meet your emotional needs. These kinds of incompatibilities can prevent a fulfilling relationship from developing.

Relationships are essential for living a meaningful and happy life. It is important to not only discern the right person but also to love them in the right way. A healthy, enriching relationship requires avoiding both the wrong person and ineffective ways of loving, while ensuring that you nurture the right relationship with the right kind of love.

 

 

Notes

Angelis, B. D. (1992). Are you the one for me? Knowing who’s right & avoiding who’s wrong. Dell Publishing. 

 

 

"I Am We": Breaking the Illusion of Separation

There is increasing reflection and literature on the concept of the "self" in spirituality, psychology, and various social sciences. A common question arises: "Who am I?" In many modern cultures, the self is often seen as an “individual entity, separate from others.” While this view holds some validity, it is incomplete.

Dr. Daniel J. Siegel, a renowned psychiatrist and expert in interpersonal neurobiology, offers a broader perspective, defining the self as “I am we.” He argues that our sense of self is never truly isolated from others or the environment. Our identity develops through relationships, beginning with our parents and extending outward to our interactions with the universe. The mind serves as a meeting point between the internal world and external reality, constantly integrating both to form our sense of self. Therefore, our identity is shaped by our relationships with others and the world around us; the self cannot exist in isolation—"I" is always "we."

Dr. Siegel emphasizes that meaning, wisdom, happiness, and well-being come from being interconnected with others in a community. It is about recognizing that we are part of something larger than our individual selves. Understanding the self as "we" has profound implications: harming others is, in fact, harming ourselves. This mindset nurtures empathy, connection, and altruism, breaking patterns of discrimination and hostility, particularly toward those who are different. It also promotes a more responsible, respectful relationship with nature, as we recognize our deep connection to the natural world.

In essence, viewing oneself not as a separate, isolated entity but as an integral part of the whole transforms both our perspective and how we live: 'I am we.' In this unity, we discover true meaning, deeper connection, and a path toward collective healing, growth, and communion.

 

Notes

Siegel, D. (2024, September 25). Dan Siegel: The neurological basis of behavior, the mind, the brain, and human relationships.

The Little Way

 

Religion and spirituality are intended to help people connect with God, others, and all of creation. Yet, they can sometimes fail when we let our egos shape and control our life experiences. Ego can distort not only our understanding but also our relationships with God, others, and the world around us.

When religion and spirituality are driven by ego, people often focus on proving their spiritual superiority to others (and themselves). To maintain this sense of superiority, they may rigidly follow religious rules and engage in visible religious practices. This pursuit of religion or spirituality can ultimately alienate them from their brothers and sisters, and even from God. A spirituality grounded in ego strives for self-elevation and personal glory.

St. Francis of Assisi and St. Thérèse of Lisieux, affectionately known as the Little Flower, embodied a spirituality that emphasized finding God and love in everything, especially in the small, everyday moments of life. They encouraged people to let go of the need to see themselves as "better, greater, or superior," and instead, to embrace humility. As Richard Rohr points out, “What we cannot bear is not being considered good, not appearing good.” True spiritual growth, however, comes from recognizing our imperfections and allowing God's grace to work through them.

Rohr further notes, “Until we discover the ‘little way,’ we almost all try to gain moral high ground by obeying laws and thinking we are spiritually advanced.” But Thérèse taught that “It is sufficient to recognize one’s nothingness and to abandon oneself as a child into God’s arms.” Accepting our own nothingness allows us to connect more deeply with God, others, creation, and ourselves.

Those who follow “the little way”—a path of humility and honesty—are invariably more loving, joyful, and compassionate (Rohr). They find God and love in the simple, small moments of life and live with gratitude for everything. Can we renounce the way of ego and embrace the spirituality of the little way?

Notes, 

Rohr, R. (2024, October, 5). Eager to love: Embracing the little way. Center for Action and Contemplation.

Thérèse to P. Roulland (1897, May 9), in General Correspondence, vol. 2, 1094.