The human heart craves intimacy. The journey of forming and experiencing intimacy often begins with our parents and close family members. In adulthood, we seek connections with others who may become lifelong partners, deepening relationships and building families. Later in life, the search for intimacy often expands, leading individuals to seek connection with the broader community, the universe, and the Divine. However, intimacy is not always easily achieved due to the imperfections within ourselves, in others, and in the circumstances around us. At every stage, we may find ourselves struggling with loneliness.
Loneliness serves as a reminder that we are far from our destination: intimacy. Renowned theologian and bestselling author Ronald Rolheiser defines loneliness as the distance between us and intimacy. It is the gap that separates us from the closeness we desire. Loneliness can become a signal, making us aware of the current state of our connections with family, others, the universe, and God. In this sense, loneliness is not just an emotional experience but an invitation to move toward greater intimacy.
When confronted with loneliness, we often have a choice: remain in it and dwell in misery, or seek a path out. Loneliness can lead to feelings of isolation and false assumptions that no one cares for us, that we are unloved, or that we are completely alone in the world. Overcoming these beliefs and finding the courage to reconnect with others is essential for moving toward intimacy, whether with people or with God. One step we can take is to become a source of connection and intimacy for others, offering them a chance to experience the closeness we all seek.
Living our entire lives in loneliness would be a profound tragedy. Can we recognize that loneliness is pointing us toward intimacy, and are we humble enough to accept our deep need for connection? Can we take the steps necessary to bridge the gap from loneliness to intimacy?
Notes,
Rolheiser, R. (2014). Sacred fire: A vision for a deeper human and Christian maturity. Image.
Such a beautiful read. I appreciate the definition of loneliness as the distance between us and intimacy. The gap that separates us from the closeness we desire.
ReplyDeleteThank you Frji... for the thought provoking and reflective message.
ReplyDeleteAnother thought provoking message. Thank you Fr. John God bless you.
ReplyDeleteAdele
In recent years, I've heard of Ronald Rolheiser - but yours is the first article I've read which describes one of his conceptions (defining loneliness as the distance between our selves and the goal of intimacy). Now you've got me intrigued to read more of his works!
ReplyDeleteVery good point for consideration. Thanks John.
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