Learn from Fear

Fear is a universal human experience—an emotional, physical, and cognitive response to a threatening situation, whether real or imagined (Baptist, 2020). Often, our default response to fear is avoidance; we tend to run from it rather than face it. However, fear can also be a messenger, "trying to tell us something" (Gruen, 1994). To understand the message within fear, we must be willing to engage with it. One insight fear may offer is a revelation of our false or unrealistic outlook on life, often rooted in an ideal of perfection (Gruen, 1994). For example, fear of public speaking or performing certain tasks may stem from the fear of making mistakes or embarrassing ourselves. In such cases, "fear always points to exaggerated expectations" (Gruen, 1994).

Reflecting more deeply on fear can reveal that, at its core, fear often involves an element of pride. We may believe we are beyond human limitations and weaknesses, thus beyond mistakes. Engaging in dialogue with our fear can lead us to humility, reminding us that we are allowed to make mistakes, that it’s okay to be imperfect, and that we don’t have to excel at everything. 

Embracing and interacting with our fear can help us uncover our flawed perspectives on life and our deep-seated need for perfection and universal approval.

 

 

Notes

Baptist, J. (2020, June 28). Fear: An invitation to know oneself. 

Gruen, A. (1999). Heaven begins within you. A Crossroad Book (pp. 84-85).

The Inner Worm

It is not an exaggeration to say that negative and persistent thoughts often trouble us. These thoughts can involve our fears, passions, comparisons, or the drive for perfection. While such thoughts are common, letting them dominate our minds and drain our energy can significantly impact our lives.

Today, mental health practitioners' offices are busy, in part because many of us hesitate to speak openly about ourselves to friends and family. We often avoid discussing our negative feelings, fears, weaknesses, and guilt, which leaves us alone with our burdensome thoughts. In an attempt to cope, we try to hide and suppress these thoughts, but this often leads to feelings of guilt or pride. Suppression rarely works, and eventually, these negative thoughts resurface in harmful ways.

Monk Anselm Gruen (1999) uses the metaphor of a “worm” to describe these destructive thoughts, stating, “As a worm eats away wood, negative and evil thoughts destroy the heart.” These inner worms of negativity can erode our peace and affect our mind, body, and soul. Grün suggests that we handle these thoughts by bringing them to light through sharing. He asserts that talking about our thoughts and feelings removes their dangerous and destructive power: “We lure the inner worm out in conversation, the wood will stay healthy, and the heart can breathe again.”

Negative thoughts are like inner worms that quietly but persistently consume our peace and joy. It is important to recognize these inner worms and bring them into the light by discussing them with someone we trust, allowing us to reclaim our peace and health.

 

 

Notes

Gruen, A. (1999). Heaven begins within you. A Crossroad Book (p. 93). 

Healthy Heart, Mind, and Soul

Healthy Heart, Mind, and Soul          

Living a healthy life is all about finding balance. Balancing different aspects of life, even those that may seem contradictory, is crucial. Key elements requiring intentional effort to balance include sleeping and waking, eating and fasting, work and prayer, and solitude and togetherness.[1] These pairs are fundamental to maintaining a healthy life. Prioritizing one aspect over the other can lead to imbalance, addiction, illness, distress, and conflict, affecting physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual well-being.

A healthy life is not achieved by chance, nor is it inherited from wealthy parents. It requires deliberate management of time, food, work, prayer, rest, and relationships.[2] For example, it is important to regulate when we sleep and wake up, what we do before and after sleeping, how much time and effort we invest in relationships, and how much we engage in solitude.

Since people and cultures vary, there is no universal right balance for everyone. Each person must find and apply the right balance for their own circumstances. Living a balanced life fosters a healthy heart, mind, and soul.

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[1] Gruen, A. (1999). Heaven begins within you. A Crossroad Book (p. 101).

[2] Gruen, A. (1999). Heaven begins within you. A Crossroad Book (p. 101).

Restoring Balance

Life can be seen as a dance between two poles, such as courage and fear. Carl Gustav Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist, who founded the school of analytical psychology, believed that “We have two poles in us: fear and trust, aggression and love, weakness and power.”[1]  We keep moving between these poles depending on our life experiences and how we handle them. Though at times we can get fixated on only one pole resulting in imbalance in our lives. 

Fixating on one pole, for example, on fear, can make life a continuous struggle. Fear can express itself in thoughts such as, “I cannot do it. What if I fail? What will others think of me? I am making a fool of myself.” Such thoughts can stop us from trying something new, doing things we are capable of, and achieving our full potential. Fear influences our behavior. We can isolate ourselves from people and situations that can add to our happiness and learning. 

So, what can we do? One way to handle fixation on one pole is by introducing the other pole to ourselves.[2] We could use a verse from our scripture[3] or a wisdom saying from our culture. For instance, Psalm 118 says, “With the Lord on my side, I do not fear.” Or tell our fear, “Hey Fear, fear me,” or, “My trust is stronger than fear.” Verses such as these will not simply drive away fear instantly. However, what can happen is we will begin to get in touch with the trust that is hidden within us.[4] By connecting to the trust within, we can gradually become conscious of it and allow it to grow. As our trust grows stronger, fear will dissipate. The trust within us is capable of fighting and defeating fear. Thus, balance can be restored in our lives. 

Let us check ourselves when we fixate on one pole and awaken the opposite pole within by using a verse from scripture or from culture.  

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[1] Gruen, A. (1999). Heaven begins within you. A Crossroad Book (p. 92).

[2] Gruen, A. (1999). Heaven begins within you. A Crossroad Book (p. 93).

[3] Gruen, A. (1999). Heaven begins within you. A Crossroad Book (p. 93).

[4] Gruen, A. (1999). Heaven begins within you. A Crossroad Book (p. 93).

Acts of God

On July 30, 2024, Wayanad in Kerala, India, witnessed a disastrous series of landslides that took hundreds of lives and made thousands of people homeless, wiping away six villages. Disasters like the Wayanad landslide are called acts of God. 

What is an act of God? An act of God, act of nature, or damnum fatale ("loss arising from inevitable accident") is an event caused by no direct human action. Insurance companies and the judiciary system refer to such disasters as acts of God. Rabbi Kushner differs and calls events like earthquakes acts of nature.[1]  

            Kushner says, “Nature is morally blind, without values. It churns along, following its own ways, not caring who or what gets in the way. But God is not morally blind. I could not worship Him if I thought He was. God stands for justice, for fairness, for compassion.[2]  An earthquake or a flood has no conscience and does not distinguish between good and bad people. Such disasters impact anyone within their range, irrespective of their belief in God. 

            The act of God is the courage of people to rebuild their lives after a disaster and the rush of others to help them in whatever way they can.[3] The act of God is the spirit that enables affected people to not give up despite all the brokenness experienced. The acts of God are the hearts that move out to the suffering people in compassion and service. God stands with those who suffer and with those who accompany the suffering. 

            Each of us has the potential to allow God to act through us, particularly when we face disasters like the Wayanad landslide.

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[1] Kushner H. S. (1981). When bad things happen to good people (p. 68). Anchor Books.

[2] Kushner H. S. (1981). When bad things happen to good people (p. 68). Anchor Books.

[3] Kushner H. S. (1981). When bad things happen to good people (p. 68). Anchor Books.

[4] Pic: Curtsy from Wikipedia

 

Gatekeeping Your Heart

    Throughout the day, the human mind is constantly bombarded with thoughts. On average, a person has thousands of thoughts each day (some estimate around 60,000). These thoughts can range from reflections on the past or future, to considerations of daily tasks or deeper contemplations about life. Thoughts can be positive or negative, pleasant or distressing, factual or fabricated, constructive or destructive. Therefore, it is important to become a gatekeeper and discern which thoughts should be allowed to take up residence in your mind.

It is believed that 80% of thoughts are either repetitive or useless. Not every thought that comes to your mind is reliable and helpful. It is not easy to filter every thought that goes through your mind. However, with increased awareness and intentionality, you can have better control over your thoughts. Making a habit of questioning your thoughts can be beneficial. You can question your thoughts, "Where have you come from?" and "Why have you come?" Verify if they are factual or fabricated. You need to become a gatekeeper of your heart and mind and not let any thought in without questioning.[1] Check if a thought really belongs to you or if it is only there to disturb your peace and disrupt your life. Your heart and body can tell you if the thought knocking at the door of your mind is a friend or an enemy.

Do not trust every thought that comes to you. Not every thought that enters your mind belongs to you. What does not belong to you has no right to reside in your mind. Guard your heart and mind attentively. This gatekeeping is crucial as your peace and well-being depend on it.

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[1] Gruen, A. (1999). Heaven begins within you. A Crossroad Book (p. 91).

Envy: Betrayal of Authenticity

Envy is a common human experience. Yet, allowing envy to take control of my thoughts, feelings, and life can limit my joy and optimal growth. Living a life controlled by envy takes away my authenticity. Monk Anselm Gruen explains envy very intricately as follows.

Envy makes its appearance in continuous comparisons with others. I can’t meet another person without comparing myself with that person. I immediately begin to appraise people, to value, devalue, and revalue them. I look for their weak points or downgrade their performance as inhibited or morbid, their success as illusory, their intelligence as weak, etc. And conversely, when I don’t succeed at this, I devalue myself and put others on a pedestal. 

In envy too I am not standing by myself, I am not content with myself, I have no sense of dignity. I recognize my value only by comparison with others. This is very exhausting. It either forces me to surpass others or plunges me into depression because I see no chance of holding my own [value] with others.[1]  

Overcoming envy requires emotional and spiritual growth, coupled with the recognition that I am inherently gifted and valuable in the eyes of God. When I look at myself with the divine vision, I can see who I really am. I am not lesser or inferior to others. Thus, I do not need to compare or to prove myself as inferior or equal or superior to others.[2] I no longer need to feel different or special because God has created only one me. 

Conversely, if I see myself as not unique but like many others, I compare and need to feel special — I labor to outshine others. Envy is a betrayal of my giftedness and authenticity. Only when I give up envy and genuinly connect with myself can I discover my unique capacity for creativity and transformation. An authentic encounter with myself is essential to open myself to joy and to attain optimal growth.

 

 

 

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[1] Gruen, A. (1999). Heaven begins within you. A Crossroad Book (p. 74). 

[2] Riso, D. R. & Hudson, R (1999). The wisdom of the enneagram: The complete guide to psychological and spiritual growth for the nine personality types. Bantam Books (pp. 203 & 205).