Confidence Booster

 

“Mom, Where is the Water?” 

– Confidence Booster

 

            Recently I visited a school in Mohali to animate a seminar for teachers on Psychosocial Development and Team Building. Invariably, I too get enriched by the experience and sharing of the participants in a seminar. This time too, I learnt something which I wish to share with you. It was a funny incident and offered some insights as to how we need to rare our children. 

           One of the teachers shared what she witnessed in her recent flight travel. A family was sitting next to her. They had a boy, four years old. During the flight, the boy said that he wanted to go to the restroom to empty his bowels. The mother offered to go with him. But the boy was full of confidence and refused her saying, “I know Mom”. Mom allowed the boy to go alone. The boy walked solemnly to the restroom. After a few minutes, there was a scream from the restroom – “Mom, where is the water?” It seemed embarrassing and, those who heard the boy started laughing. However, the Mom smiled and went to the restroom and helped her son to use tissue paper. 

           According to Erik Erikson, a renowned developmental psychologist, children during the age of three to six, pass through the stage Initiative vs Guilt. Parents and caregivers need to encourage the initiatives of children, like the mother in the incident allowed her son to go to the restroom alone. At this stage, children try many things, develop new skills and doubtlessly they fail in some of them as they learn. Therefore, it becomes highly important how parents handle the failures and embarrassing moments of their kids. Guilt may occur if parents criticize, prevent play, or discourage a child’s questions. A child can start feeling as: always being wrong, and may fail to explore the world. If parents want their children to be free and confident then they need to allow their kids to do things by themselves, offer help only when needed, and be encouraging even when they fail. This way, we can raise happy and confident children.