Tricky Self-rejection

Individuals can hear many voices, both from outside and within their minds. Some of the voices are positive but others are negative and can do a lot of damage to ourselves. Some voices unremittingly tell us that we are worthless and not good enough. Henry Nouwen, a great spiritual writer, said, “When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions.” The voices that make us believe that we are worthless and unlovable create a deep and dark void in our hearts. This deep void pushes us to fill it or deny it by constantly pursuing success, popularity, and power. These dark and dirty voices ultimately convince a person to self-reject, which can be the deadliest tragedy in their lives. Nouwen affirms that “the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection”. 

Often self-rejection can go unnoticed as it lies deep down. However, self-rejection can give birth to many unhealthy talks and behaviours. Some manifestations, such as our desire to exhibit our expensive clothes and gadgets as well as recounting to others our achievements and degrees perhaps, rise from self-rejection. When driven by self-rejection, one continuously feels empty and lesser than others. Hence, a desire develops in the hearts of such individuals that propels them to speak and do things to convince the world that they are great and worthy. The irony is that the void created by self-rejection does not get filled by presenting ourselves as successful, popular or powerful, but it becomes darker and deeper. 

Can we be aware of the trap called self-rejection? Understanding ourselves as children of God can help us see the beauty and worthiness already bestowed on us. This is the unconditional beauty and worthiness that God showers upon us without needing any requirements from us. Can we hear the voice of the Divine and others who love us genuinely, that we are worthy and lovable?

Notes

Henry Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World