Befriending Suffering

 

John Baptist

Clinical Counselor

 

Pain and suffering are often an essential part of the fabric of our lives. When we view suffering as a curse, we end up thinking of ourselves as rejectable, unlovable, and worthless. When we call ourselves cursed by God or others then we have already assumed that we are not loved. Our experiences of suffering as a curse and therefore as a sign of our worthlessness can lead us into the dark pit of depression, sometimes culminating in suicide. We cannot avoid suffering but we can learn how best to respond to it. There is a better way of understanding our suffering than as a curse: we can befriend suffering and view it in the light of blessing (Henry Nouwen). 

Even a small experience of suffering viewed as a curse can lead to feelings of worthlessness and meaninglessness in life. Whereas, understanding suffering in the light of blessing can lead to feelings of joy and meaningfulness in life. In the light of blessing, even heavy burdens become light and intensely painful experiences become a bedrock for joy and meaning in life.   

           Understanding suffering in the light of blessing does not really explain the why of suffering, instead it becomes a means of deeper union with God and others. In this new understanding, not only joy but also sorrow becomes a path that leads to God. Henry Nouwen invites us to embrace our suffering. He says, “Befriending it [suffering] and putting it under blessing do not necessarily make our pain less painful…. And still, embracing it and bringing it into the light of the One who calls us the Beloved can make our brokenness shine like a diamond”. Suffering viewed in the light of blessing can indeed transform our dull and rough life so that we shine like a polished diamond. 

 

Notes

Henry Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World

Mathew 11: 30 – “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”.