What Is Self-compassion?
You cannot think of enjoying good self-esteem and overall well-being without making self-compassion an essential aspect of your life. Self-compassion has the power to heal your wounds and transform your life.
Kristin Neff (2003a) defined self-compassion as:
Self-compassion, therefore, involves being touched by and open to one’s own suffering, not avoiding or disconnecting from it, generating the desire to alleviate one’s suffering and to heal oneself with kindness. Self-compassion also involves offering a non-judgmental understanding of one’s pain, inadequacies, and failures, so that one’s experience is viewed as part of the larger human experience.
Self-compassion entails being kind to oneself, particularly when one experiences failures and imperfections. With self-compassion we mindfully accept that the moment is painful, and embrace ourselves with kindness and care in response, remembering that imperfection is part of the shared human experience. This allows us to hold ourselves in love and connection, giving ourselves the support and comfort needed to bear the pain, while providing the optimal conditions for growth and transformation (Neff).
Four Ways to Grow in Self-compassion
The importance of loving yourself cannot be undermined. Below find four ways to grow in self-compassion.
Exercise 1: Find Reasons to be Self-kind
Start with trying to not hate or dislike yourself. Think of reasons why you deserve some kindness and patience (MHA). People deserve kindness, particularly when they get hurt or struggle with something, even when it is ‘you’.
Exercise 2: Avoid Self-labelling
In moments of failure whether in academics, profession, or interpersonal relationships liking yourself can be hard. One can irrationally scorn and blame yourself for all your failures. Self-contempt and blame can lead to labelling yourself negatively and vice-versa. Some harmful labels are ‘I’m a failure', ‘I’m stupid’, ‘I’m bad’, and ‘I’m useless/worthless’. Avoid them.
Exercise 3: How Would You Treat a Friend?
How do you think things might change if you responded to yourself in the same way you typically respond to a close friend when he or she is suffering? Treat yourself lovingly as you would treat a friend in pain.
Exercise 4: Exploring Self-compassion Through Writing
Everybody has something about themselves that they don’t like; something that causes them to feel shame, insecure, or not good enough. Write a letter to yourself about this issue from a place of acceptance and compassion.
Notes
Mental Health America (MHA), (2022), 2022 Back-to-School Outreach Toolkit
Kristin Neff, Self-compassion: Tips for Practice
Kristin Neff, (2003a). ‘Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself’. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101.
Self-compassion is really an effective tool that one can practice. Nice reflected 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
ReplyDeleteGood to read you blog. Inspiring and yes self compassion is a really very effective tool that one can practice. Book by Kristen Neff is really amazing piece of art.
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