What is gaslighting? The term originated from Patrick Hamilton’s original 1939 stage play ‘Gaslight’[1] and was later made famous in the 1944 movie ‘Gaslighting’[2]. In the story, a husband emotionally manipulates his wife by falsifying small instances of the environment and tries to convince her that she’s insane by causing her to question herself and her reality.
“Gaslighting is an insidious form of manipulation and psychological control. Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves”[3]. The victims of gaslighting may end up doubting their memory, their perception, their self-worth, and even their sanity. Over time, a gaslighter’s manipulations can grow more complex and potent, damaging understanding of inner worth and making it increasingly difficult for the victim to see the truth.
Gaslighting creates a negative narrative about the gaslightee (victim) and an unequal power dynamic between partners. Ultimately gaslighting enables a gaslighter to control the mind of the victim/s and to continue to abuse them psychologically which can include physical and sexual abuse. Gradually, gaslightees assume that they are responsible for their messy relationship and that their partner is justified in abusing them. Sadly, the victims of gaslighting can end up losing their self-worth and having a dependent and fragile identity.
“In its milder forms gaslighting creates a subtle but inequitable power dynamic in a relationship with the gaslightee subjected to the gaslighter’s unreasonable rather than fact-based scrutiny, judgment, or micro-aggression[4]. Gaslighting can occur among friends, in romantic relationships, at the workplace, or within an entire society.
A gaslighter initially lies about simple things but the volume of implanting doubt in the mind of a gaslightee soon grows. Consequently a gaslightee may start apologizing for things that are not his/her fault or plead with the gaslighter for love and to continue the relationship. When a gaslighter is caught having an affair he/she may accuse the victim of being suspicious, possessive, and immature. A gaslighter can become furious or stonewall when asked for clarification. A gaslighter may typically deploy occasional positive reinforcement to confuse the victim but ultimately to exploit the gaslightee.
Some tactics[5] employed by a gaslighter are:
“I never said that; you made that up”.
“It is you who made me do the things I do”.
“It’s your fault”.
“Why are you so suspicious; you are attacking me”.
“You are too emotional”.
Gaslighting is prevalent more than one imagines. Therefore one needs to be aware of gaslighting and guard oneself against becoming its victim or using it to victimize others.
Thanks a lot for this wonderful article sir. Do you mean it's the tricks or ways and means one uses to manipulate in a relationship is called gaslighting? May be in writings like this If you mention few examples it would be easier to understand. Thank you very much.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is ways and tactics a person uses to papillate the the other in a relationship that is called gaslighting. one example is "When a gaslighter is caught having an affair he/she may accuse the victim of being suspicious, possessive, and immature".
DeleteFor more examples please with for my next article, what will elaborate on the tactics.
Thanks for enlightening the silent way of manipulation we do
ReplyDelete* manipulate
ReplyDeletehttps://www.msn.com/en-us/health/wellness/gaslighting-what-it-is-and-how-to-fight-it/ar-AA102oyq
ReplyDelete