A primary goal of gaslighters is to keep the victim hooked for exploitation. Many people eventually find a way to escape a gaslighter’s influence, leaving the manipulator to search for a new target; often, they already have another victim in mind. However, it can be hard to break off with a gaslighter as gaslighting weakens a victim emotionally and cognitively.
Emotional Eroding in Gaslighting
Gaslighting can be psychologically devastating. It erodes a person’s trust in themselves and makes them doubt their own dignity and value; after all, it’s easy to blame themselves for having been too trusting, vulnerable, or dependent. The experience may make a victim never open up or trust other relationships again.
Cognitive Dissonance in Gaslighting
It takes a certain amount of cognitive dissonance to remain connected to a gaslighter. Cognitive dissonance occurs when you have information about the gaslighter that is completely contradictory to your beliefs, values, and what you thought you knew about that person. When a victim is in a state of cognitive dissonance, he or she may react in one of the following ways:
· Ignore the contradictory information.
· Fight against the contradictory information.
· Replace beliefs and values with the contradictory information (shoved by the gaslighter).
You may have put up with gaslighting because you convinced yourself that it was normal and possibly your fault. But the healthiest way to resolve cognitive dissonance is to take action to bring yourself back into alignment with your own beliefs, dignity, and values—and many times that means leaving the gaslighter.
If something doesn’t feel right about a relationship or person, it is a sign to re-think your relationship.
John Baptist OFM Cap.
Clinical Counselor & Psychospiritual Resource Person
York, PA, USA
Notes
Thank you for making aware of such type of people and their intension. My question is do they have no conscience that they exploit a person to such an extent......
ReplyDeleteI think conscience is developed gradually; we don't get a built-in conscience. We all keep developing conscience in a more healthy and wise one. some people tend to have flows and corruption in their conscience — and hence tend to think only of themselves at the cost of exploiting others.
ReplyDeleteI hope this answers your question. If you like to discuss more we can talk.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/wellness/gaslighting-what-it-is-and-how-to-fight-it/ar-AA102oyq
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