I Owe Myself an Apology

 

I owe myself an apology

For all the times

I tore myself apart.

When I neglected my own needs

Lowered my standards

Berated myself

And put myself down.

 

For the self-sabotage

I continually inflicted upon myself

And the times when I apologized

For being who I was

And expressing myself authentically.

 

And I owe myself

The permission to start anew.

 

To forgive myself

For the battles I fought

That weren’t mine to fight

For all of the love

That I failed to give myself

And for the times when I failed to realize

That rather than being broken

I was worthy of value, respect

And beautiful, brilliant things in life

 

And that's how I treated myself

Dictated how others would view me

And in turn, behave toward me

So by showering myself

With love, kindness, forgiveness and respect

In turn, I could pave the way

For others to do the same.

 

Tahlia Hunter wrote the above heartwarming poem. Hunter's words invite us to acknowledge that often it is we who understand ourselves as worthless and treat ourselves without dignity. 

When we ceaselessly look at ourselves as persons without any value then we allow others to treat us badly and assume that it is okay to be treated that way. If we value ourselves then we draw people who will value us, on the contrary, if we devalue ourselves, we can easily attract people who will mistreat and abuse us.

The experience of being loved and valued cannot be sustained from the outside rather it has its foundation within. As humans, we are born with immense value – the image of the Divine. If we can start accessing this inner, beautiful, and precious core of our being then we can truly accept, love, and value ourselves. Accepting and valuing ourselves offers a blueprint to others of how they also need to treat us. 

It is never too late; we can forgive ourselves for not treating ourselves with kindness and love. We can begin anew the journey of acceptance, love, and worthiness. 

The journey begins from within. 

John Baptist OFM Cap.

Clinical Counselor & Psychospiritual Resource Person

York, PA, USA