Every relationship, particularly a new one, needs time to deepen and flourish. However, if a relationship pulls you away from your friends and family and tethers you tightly to someone it is unhealthy.[1]The unhealthy dynamic of isolation can appear in any relationship, particularly with your friend, partner or the one you plan to marry.
Isolation often starts slowly with someone asking you to spend more 1:1 time with them but can later escalate to demands that you don’t see certain people. Often, they will ask you to choose between them and your friends.[2] Such behaviour should be a red flag.
Isolation is nothing less than a hijacking of your feelings and movements, wherein you are not permitted to talk or meet people who are important to you.
Often, it can be hard to detect isolation at the beginning of a relationship because of the initial excitement and focus on spending time together. Your partner (or anyone) might repeatedly speak negatively about your friends and family saying “why do you hang out with them? They are bad and against us.” Thus, your partner might sow seeds of doubt regarding your dear ones. If isolation persists then it gradually breaks down your support system and makes you dependent on the abuser, who can exploit you for selfish motives.
True love integrates healthy levels of interdependence as well as independence. In a healthy love relationship, the partners enjoy the time and presence of each other, but they also relish and spur the support the other has from their friends and family. A healthy friend or partner encourages you to engage in activities you like and to meet people dear to you.
Eliminating isolation is an important key to keeping your relationships satisfying and your life healthy and balanced. Keep connected with your friends and family who value you and support you in the vicissitudes of life and encourage your partner to do the same.
John Baptist OFM Cap. | Clinical Counselor & Psychospiritual Resource Person | Pennsylvania, USA
[1] Katie Hood, The Difference Between Healthy and Unhealthy Love
[2] One Love, 10 signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
The worst cruelty that can be inflicted on a human being is isolation..
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