Jealousy: Stealer of Joy

            Relationships are an essential and beautiful part of life. They help humans know themselves, support each other, and learn a healthy balance of dependence and independence. But at times, jealousy can creep into relationships which can distort their beauty and make them burdensome and impaired. Jealousy can occur in any relationship, particularly those with siblings and in romantic relationships.

           Jealousy is a complex emotion that involves a real or perceived threat to a relationship. An individual may resent a third person for taking away or appearing to take away the affection of their loved one.[1] Jealousy can be accompanied by feelings of suspicion, fear, inadequacy, humiliation, bitterness, resentment, and hostility. Fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, and high neuroticism are often causes of jealousy. 

Individuals can experience jealousy occasionally, but if this emotion repeats and becomes intense, it can lead to distrust, paranoia, fault finding, criticizing, blaming, obsession, possessiveness, and abuse, particularly verbal and emotional.[2] Jealousy can make individuals blind to the love and companionship already available to them. Recurring jealousy can increase feelings of insecurity and fear of abandonment (and vice versa) — especially when there is nothing to worry about — and therefore can “compel someone to obsessively monitor another’s communications, relationships, and whereabouts”.[3] 

Jealousy can rob the joy out of a human relationship. 

Jealousy is an invitation to look into oneself — to unearth deep-rooted fears and unhealthy attachment styles that are often developed in childhood. One needs to become honest with oneself, see and understand underlying distortions, and uproot whatever causes jealousy. 

Jealousy recognized, understood, and overcome can bring about maturity and growth. 

 

 

John Baptist OFM Cap. | Clinical Counselor & Psychospiritual Resource Person | Pennsylvania, USA

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[1] Edlund JE, Sagarin BJ. Sex differences in jealousy. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology. 2017;55. doi:10.1016/bs.aesp.2016.10.004

[2] Sarah Sheppard, What is Jealousy?

[3] Psychology Today, Jealousy