Words Can Deceive

     Language is a unique and powerful gift that human beings have. Language makes us different from other species that inhabit the earth. The numerous discoveries and inventions that human beings are proud of have been possible because we can communicate our thoughts to one another and build upon the ideas of those who have gone before us. 

     Language has a huge downside to it, too, that makes humans the most dangerous of all species. We can use our words to deceive and manipulate people. On the one hand, our words can be loving and promising, on the other, we can betray and hurt others maliciously. 

     Animals communicate exactly what they feel inside. For instance, by growling a dog signals that it will attack if you enter its territory and woofs if it wants to play with you or show you love. A dog would not woof and then bite you. If animals are ready to attack, then their barking or growling will indicate exactly that. 

     Unfortunately, humans have the capacity to use language to make others believe that they care and are doing their best to help, yet this may not be true. Contrary to what people show, they might plan to hurt you and create blocks in your success and growth. 

     Last year, I met a wise sanyasi at the foot of the Himalayas, who said, “A lot of individuals use words for their own benefits, to prove that they are right, and to deceive others. Those who are genuine and truly care do not need words to prove this and often they are silent.” Only a person who has no need to manipulate can be silent. 

     Understanding that humans have the capacity to use words to deceive and manipulate has two implications. The first is that we become conscious of our motive for what we say and why we say something to others and recognize any self-centeredness in our words. The second is that we discern people and see if their words do really get translated into caring actions. 

     Sitting in silence can help us to peel off the motive underneath our words and tallying others' deeds with their words can lead us closer to the truth. 

     Let our words be genuine and uplift the other, otherwise, silence is a perfectly good option. 

Belonging to Self

Humans, consciously or unconsciously, seek belongingness. We strive to connect to communities, groups, families, and friends in order to belong. More often than not, we end up fitting in rather than truly belonging. We are not content with the level of belongingness we have. One big reason we fail to experience a true sense of belongingness is that we do not belong to ourselves. 

In an interview, Maya Angelou, an American memoirist, poet, and civil rights activist, spoke about the need to belong to oneself. Below is a brief excerpt from the interview.[1]

Moyers: Do you belong anywhere?

Angelou: I haven’t yet.

Moyers: Do you belong to anyone?

Angelou: More and more. I mean, I belong to myself. I’m very proud of that. I am very concerned about how I look at Maya. 

The secret of cultivating true belongingness is to begin with the self. Unless and until, we start belonging to ourselves, we cannot belong to anyone else. For, if we do not understand, accept, and honor ourselves — and all that we are — we have no genuine ground to stand on and to connect with others. Without belonging to ourselves, we will end up fitting in and pleasing others. 

           The journey of belonging to oneself is not easy as we live in a society that prefers and promotes fitting in. Once we learn to truly belong to ourselves, we will not feel insecure and can truly be honest with ourselves and others. It is in truly belonging to oneself that we can belong to others too. 

 

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[1] Moyers, B. (1973, November 21). “A Conversation with Maya Angelou,” Bill Moyers Journal: Original Series.