Humans, consciously or unconsciously, seek belongingness. We strive to connect to communities, groups, families, and friends in order to belong. More often than not, we end up fitting in rather than truly belonging. We are not content with the level of belongingness we have. One big reason we fail to experience a true sense of belongingness is that we do not belong to ourselves.
In an interview, Maya Angelou, an American memoirist, poet, and civil rights activist, spoke about the need to belong to oneself. Below is a brief excerpt from the interview.[1]
Moyers: Do you belong anywhere?
Angelou: I haven’t yet.
Moyers: Do you belong to anyone?
Angelou: More and more. I mean, I belong to myself. I’m very proud of that. I am very concerned about how I look at Maya.
The secret of cultivating true belongingness is to begin with the self. Unless and until, we start belonging to ourselves, we cannot belong to anyone else. For, if we do not understand, accept, and honor ourselves — and all that we are — we have no genuine ground to stand on and to connect with others. Without belonging to ourselves, we will end up fitting in and pleasing others.
The journey of belonging to oneself is not easy as we live in a society that prefers and promotes fitting in. Once we learn to truly belong to ourselves, we will not feel insecure and can truly be honest with ourselves and others. It is in truly belonging to oneself that we can belong to others too.
[1] Moyers, B. (1973, November 21). “A Conversation with Maya Angelou,” Bill Moyers Journal: Original Series.
Seems to be true. Never thought that way. Thanks
ReplyDeleteThank you for this article. Many points to ponder. Loving and accepting myself allows me to then love and accept others. Also learning to accept how God loves and accepts me as enough, his beloved.
ReplyDeleteLove it
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