“I am fifty-six and have been divorced for years. When I was still with my husband and told someone I was lonely they responded with “but you’re married.” I have learned the difference between being alone and lonely. In a crowd, at work, even in a family setting, I always feel lonely. It can be overwhelming at times, a physical sensation. My doctors have called it depression, but there is a difference. I read once, you are born alone and you die alone. But what about all the years in between? Can you really belong to someone else? Can you ever resolve the inner feeling of being alone? Shopping won’t do it. Eating won’t do it. Random sex doesn’t make it go away. If and when you find any answers, please write back and tell me.”[1]
The above letter was written by a woman to John Cacioppo, a researcher in cognitive and social neuroscience, who is considered the expert on loneliness. Mother Teresa called “being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for”[2] the greatest disease in the West. It would not be an exaggeration to say that loneliness is the new pandemic of the world and is a threat to individual and community wellbeing in any society. Simply because people live under the same roof, interact with many people, or have thousands of followers does not mean that they are immune to loneliness.
Often, we lack the courage to acknowledge that we feel lonely because we consider needing others to be weak or shameful. We need to realize that the human heart is lonely without deep and meaningful relationships. Humans are created to connect and to belong to one another. Shopping, food, drugs, or sex cannot fill the void in the human heart. Only truly honest and deep relationships can lead us to contentment and peace.
[1] Cacioppo, J. (2009). Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. W.W. Norton & Company.
Yoli
ReplyDeleteThank you sharing the importance of healthy relatinship in oye daily life.
ReplyDeleteA difficult but significant topic to think about in today's society. Are individuals able to have deep, meaningful, truthful and humble relationships where they worry more about the other than themselves?!
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