Loneliness and disconnection are recurring faces in our modern life. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) one in three adults aged forty-five and older feels lonely in the US.[1] A sense of belonging in our lives is essential not only for our well-being but also for our survival. An experience of belonging relates to feeling accepted, included, understood, welcomed, liked, and appreciated.[2] Often, our experiences of feeling misunderstood and rejected become detrimental to our growth and happiness.
Kelly-Ann Allen, a leading Australian researcher on belongingness, defines belongingness as “a unique and subjective experience that relates to a yearning for connection with others, the need for positive regard and the desire for interpersonal connection.”[3] Can we deny that we carry at the core of our being a longing to belong and to be valued? “Even though technology connects us now more than ever, it can also disconnect us from the people around us, leading to feelings of loneliness.”[4] Unfortunately, many times our fundamental need to belong can remain unmet. Understanding the lack of belongingness, a sad reality of advanced modern life, the UK appointed its first Minister for Loneliness in 2018. We need to consciously take the initiative to connect and to belong, otherwise we can become victims of loneliness.
The sense of belongingness does not depend on the quantity of relationships we have but on the quality of relationships. We might exhibit to others the likes, followers, and friends we have on social media and pretend that we are happy and valued because of them. It is a misconception that more social networks and friends equates to more happiness and strong belongingness. Despite numerous friends and likes on social networks we can still feel lonely, scared, and miserable. Perhaps, somewhere at the core of our hearts, we feel lonely, sad, unaccepted, and valueless. To overcome the feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, and not being good enough, we can become addicted to social media and other behaviors. Often, the underlying belief in the excessive use of social media is to convince ourselves and others that we are worthy of acceptance and value. Sadly, such a veneer of conviction does not last long.
In our society which is often balkanized by loneliness and disconnection we need to heed the call that belongingness is the path to healing. For our happiness, we need to be conscious and deliberate in cultivating belongingness.
[1] Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2024 March 8). The power of connection: How it can improve our health
[2] Allen, K. (2021). The psychology of belonging. Routledge Taylor & Francis Group.
[3] Allen, K. (2021). The psychology of belonging.
[4] Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2024 March 8). The power of connection: How it can improve our health
No man is an Island. We belong to each other..
ReplyDeleteIt's very nice 👌 to reflect my life once again
ReplyDeleteIt's true human beings are created to be belonged to if anyone tries to isolate oneself is sure to end up sad, lonely and depressed. We must belong and let other belong to us.
ReplyDeleteOne of the real facts of the life
ReplyDeleteRightly said!
ReplyDeleteWe all look for belongingness which needs to be the right way of feeling being with self and others. Even the WHO has acknowledged that loneliness is a risk factor for Mental Health issues. So we really need to understand how we all can be a helping hand for others, acknowledge and validate each other's feelings and emotions. Belongingness matters!