Humans have a deep longing to be-long, even those who seem to declare that they do not need anyone. Before we can dream of belonging to others, or even to God, we first need to belong to ourselves. Although, it is possible we may start to accept ourselves when we experience unconditional acceptance from someone else but such experiences can be rare. Even if people love us and God accepts us unconditionally, we can still miss out on all that love and sense of belonging if we do not compassionately connect with ourselves. The love and belonging that we receive from others need a home — a sanctuary — within our being.
If we do not understand and belong to ourselves then we will fail to discover, create, or expand the sanctuary within us where love can reside. We cannot belong to anyone else without first belonging to ourselves. Belonging to ourselves means coming to know and embrace who we are, our journey, and our brokenness. As Viola Davis, who is known for her powerful and nuanced performances, beautifully puts it,
“This is who I am.
This is where I am from.
This is my mess.
This is what it means to belong to myself.”
It is not easy to accept ourselves with all our flaws and messiness but without being courageous enough to embrace ourselves we can never truly belong to ourselves. If we cannot even acknowledge our own stories and accept ourselves, then who will?
Once we own who we are and own our stories as they are, we will be able to experience true belonging to ourselves and to others.
We have so much guilt in us right from childhood that it becomes really difficult to accept ourselves.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful 😍
ReplyDeleteI liked your reflection
ReplyDeleteRighty reflected..in order to build relationships with others we need to build that relationship with self.
ReplyDeleteThis is what I watched in a video the other day, it says that if you learn to love oneself, you will not long others love and attention, you will enjoy being with yourself and you can love and respect others too. For that one has to accept and love him/herself.That needs daily practice of mindfulness.
ReplyDeleteThank you Fr.John for this insight.
I liked your reflection about belonging to oneself. I know it is the thing one has to do. But how to go about doing it. I wish to know more about it.
ReplyDeleteIn concrete life, it means to begin to become aware and accept one's limitations, flaws, and the dark and shameful side.
DeleteNice reflection. So true that we need acceptance of ourselves first.
ReplyDeleteThank you Fray something to ponder and pray about
ReplyDelete