When we are overwhelmed by severe problems, terminal illnesses, or death, we often seek explanations. When no satisfactory answers emerge, we may place the responsibility on God, asking, "God, why are You doing this to me?" It is as though we are questioning whether we have done something so wrong that God has rejected, punished, or abandoned us in our suffering. In my book, Brokenness to Wholeness, I explore how these feelings of rejection can arise in times of pain and what we can do to reconnect with our faith.
Pain and hardship invite us to reflect more deeply on our lives. If we can acknowledge that many things occur as part of our human nature and the environment's unfolding, we might realize that God is not deliberately causing us harm. With this understanding, we may begin to see our suffering—and God—with fresh eyes, allowing us to move forward in our struggles.
Rabbi Harold Kushner suggests a different set of questions to ask God: "God, see what is happening to me. Can you help me?" This approach shifts our focus from judgment to seeking comfort. Kushner emphasizes that in moments of suffering, we do not turn to God to be judged, forgiven, rewarded, or punished. Instead, we turn to God for strength and comfort. What we truly need in our pain is solace and support, not the burden of thinking that our suffering is divine punishment.
Believing that pain is God's punishment only deepens feelings of rejection and worthlessness, which is not true. God loves us and is closest to us when we are in pain. Approaching God as a loving parent, rather than a harsh judge, helps us maintain a sense of goodness and belonging as God's children, without feeling condemned.
In reframing our suffering and witnessing the pain of others, we are invited to cultivate compassion and connection. We can trust that God is on our side, even in our darkest moments. With this divine support, we can confront the toughest trials, discovering the courage and potential for healing that lies within our struggles.
Notes,
Baptist, J. (2021). Brokenness to Wholeness. Media House.
Kushner, H. (1981). When bad things happen to good people. Anchor Books, pp. 51 – 52.
Thank you for this reflection on suffering and a better way to turn to God for comfort and solace. A beautiful reminder and habit to develop!
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