Harold Kushner shares an old Chinese tale about a woman whose only son had died. In her grief, she went to a holy man and asked, “My life is empty and full of sorrow. What prayers or magic can bring him back?”
The holy man replied, “Bring me a mustard seed from a home that has never known sorrow. We will use it to drive the grief from your life.”
She set out to find such a home but everywhere she went, she found stories of loss and pain. At a grand mansion, the residents told her of their tragedies. Feeling she could console them, she stayed to comfort them. Everywhere she turned, sorrow appeared. Over time, her quest for the magical mustard seed faded as she became immersed in helping others. Ironically, in easing their grief, her own sorrow lifted. She found meaning and even joy in service.
This tale teaches that grief cannot be hurried or hidden. Losing someone dear leaves a wound that cannot be masked by busyness, distractions, or indulgence. Such attempts may only delay the pain. True healing comes through presence, empathy, and compassion. By sharing in the grief of others, we discover our own capacity for hope and peace.
The story echoes the Peace Prayer of St. Francis: “Where there is despair, let me bring hope; where there is sadness, let me bring joy.” By reaching out to others, we not only comfort them but also allow our own hearts to heal, finding meaning, connection, and even joy in the process.
“Healing grows quietly when we share in the grief of others.”
Notes
Kushner H. S. (1981). When bad things happen to good people (p. 122-123). Anchor Books.
This is a famous story I heard told about the Buddha. In India, of course. Thanks 🙏🏽
ReplyDeleteGeorge
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ReplyDeleteLesson to remember for life
ReplyDeleteThe genius of the holy man's instruction is that it doesn't dismiss the woman's pain. Instead, it gives her a task that, by its very nature, provides the cure she seeks.
ReplyDelete-Alex