Faith: The Antidote to Anxiety

What is the opposite of faith—doubt or unbelief? The renowned theologian Ronald Rolheiser, drawing from scripture scholars, suggests that for Jesus, “the opposite of faith was not doubt or unbelief, but anxiety—being anxious.” We experience both surface-level anxiety about day-to-day tasks and deeper, unconscious anxiety related to our very existence—our need to feel significant, accepted, and loved.

As Rolheiser points out, “We are born anxious.” As infants, we depend entirely on caregivers for love and protection. This anxiety shows itself in our cries and other physical expressions, asking, "Will I be fed, cared for, protected, and loved?" The anxiety persists as we grow into children, adolescents, and even adults, struggling to find security, self-worth, and acceptance.

While some anxiety may be caused by clinical or environmental factors, much of it can stem from a lack of faith—faith in God, in others, and in ourselves. Anxiety often reflects mistrust in God’s care, doubt in the goodness of others, and insecurity about our inherent worth. Reclaiming faith allows us to overcome the anxiety that clouds our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

True faith invites us to begin releasing our anxieties. A deep faith in God serves as a powerful antidote to the constant worry that burdens us, guiding us toward a life of peace, trust, and connection.

 

Notes,

Rolheiser, R. (2014). Sacred fire: A vision for a deeper human and Christian maturity. Image, p. 36.

 

 

Reframing Suffering: A New Dialogue with God

When we are overwhelmed by severe problems, terminal illnesses, or death, we often seek explanations. When no satisfactory answers emerge, we may place the responsibility on God, asking, "God, why are You doing this to me?" It is as though we are questioning whether we have done something so wrong that God has rejected, punished, or abandoned us in our suffering. In my book, Brokenness to Wholeness, I explore how these feelings of rejection can arise in times of pain and what we can do to reconnect with our faith.

Pain and hardship invite us to reflect more deeply on our lives. If we can acknowledge that many things occur as part of our human nature and the environment's unfolding, we might realize that God is not deliberately causing us harm. With this understanding, we may begin to see our suffering—and God—with fresh eyes, allowing us to move forward in our struggles.

Rabbi Harold Kushner suggests a different set of questions to ask God: "God, see what is happening to me. Can you help me?" This approach shifts our focus from judgment to seeking comfort. Kushner emphasizes that in moments of suffering, we do not turn to God to be judged, forgiven, rewarded, or punished. Instead, we turn to God for strength and comfort. What we truly need in our pain is solace and support, not the burden of thinking that our suffering is divine punishment.

Believing that pain is God's punishment only deepens feelings of rejection and worthlessness, which is not true. God loves us and is closest to us when we are in pain. Approaching God as a loving parent, rather than a harsh judge, helps us maintain a sense of goodness and belonging as God's children, without feeling condemned.

In reframing our suffering and witnessing the pain of others, we are invited to cultivate compassion and connection. We can trust that God is on our side, even in our darkest moments. With this divine support, we can confront the toughest trials, discovering the courage and potential for healing that lies within our struggles.

 

Notes, 

Baptist, J. (2021). Brokenness to Wholeness. Media House.

Kushner, H. (1981). When bad things happen to good people. Anchor Books, pp. 51 – 52.

Listening to Understand

Hearing and listening are distinct processes. Hearing is the physical act of perceiving sound through the ears, while listening requires active attention and understanding that goes beyond mere words. True listening engages the "internal ears" of the heart, enabling deeper comprehension.

Listening is crucial in all relationships, whether with family, friends, colleagues, or in a spiritual connection with God. While some people may naturally excel at listening, others may need to develop this skill. Without effective listening, relationships risk becoming superficial, noisy, and unfulfilling. Genuine listening involves stepping into the other person's world and temporarily setting aside our own concerns (Rossi, 2009). It requires letting go of self-centeredness and focusing on the needs and experiences of the speaker.

Listening is about understanding rather than merely responding. We need to listen with the intention to understand, not just to reply. If we focus on formulating a response while someone is speaking, we are not truly listening; instead, we are preoccupied with our own thoughts. A response, if needed, should come only after we have fully listened and understood the other person. Effective listening fosters empathy, connection, and appropriate actions.

Listening is more essential than we might realize. Without practicing good listening, we cannot fully understand others' feelings or communication. Genuine, deep, and fulfilling relationships are impossible without it. Let us make a conscious effort to listen with the intent to understand.

 

Notes

Rossi, D. (2009). Listening to God’s Whispers (p. 132).

“Why Me?”: Discovering Peace in Pain

Pain, failure, sickness, and unexpected hardships are inevitable parts of the human experience. These uninvited experiences disrupt our daily life, affecting our body, mind, and spirit. Yet, pain itself is neutral — it isn’t inherently good or bad. It’s our response to pain that determines whether it leads us toward bitterness or growth. By approaching pain with “flexibility” and “humility,” we can transform these hardships into opportunities for maturity and deeper peace.

We can be rigid in our understanding of life, expecting everything to happen according to our plan and structure; however, an honest view of life tells us that this is not true. Life does not always happen the way we want. Unpleasant things come our way without invitation. We might be ready for an exciting trip, and then sickness arrives. Often, we cannot do much to stop such unexpected and unpleasant events. But what we can do is become flexible in our expectations about life and begin to embrace our life as it unfolds.

Humility is another important element that can help us relate to pain in a way that promotes personal growth. When something goes wrong, such as someone meeting with an accident, losing a job, or experiencing a breakup in a relationship, we often ask, “Why has this happened to me?” When we approach pain with the mindset of “Why me?” we unconsciously elevate ourselves above the human life. We start to believe that we are special and that painful things should not happen to us. However, in reality, uncertainty, unpleasant events, and pain are integral parts of the human experience. Cultivating humility can help us shift from “Why me?” to “It can be me.”

In facing life’s inevitable struggles, embracing flexibility and humility can be our greatest allies. Instead of rigidly resisting pain or questioning, “Why me?”, we can shift to accepting that pain is part of the shared human journey. This perspective allows us to move from a place of suffering to a place of peace, using life’s challenges to grow stronger and wiser. By welcoming pain as a teacher rather than an enemy, we don’t just move forward — we find a deeper sense of peace and a chance to contribute meaningfully to the lives of others.

Loneliness: The Gap Between Us and Intimacy

The human heart craves intimacy. The journey of forming and experiencing intimacy often begins with our parents and close family members. In adulthood, we seek connections with others who may become lifelong partners, deepening relationships and building families. Later in life, the search for intimacy often expands, leading individuals to seek connection with the broader community, the universe, and the Divine. However, intimacy is not always easily achieved due to the imperfections within ourselves, in others, and in the circumstances around us. At every stage, we may find ourselves struggling with loneliness.

Loneliness serves as a reminder that we are far from our destination: intimacy. Renowned theologian and bestselling author Ronald Rolheiser defines loneliness as the distance between us and intimacy. It is the gap that separates us from the closeness we desire. Loneliness can become a signal, making us aware of the current state of our connections with family, others, the universe, and God. In this sense, loneliness is not just an emotional experience but an invitation to move toward greater intimacy.

When confronted with loneliness, we often have a choice: remain in it and dwell in misery, or seek a path out. Loneliness can lead to feelings of isolation and false assumptions that no one cares for us, that we are unloved, or that we are completely alone in the world. Overcoming these beliefs and finding the courage to reconnect with others is essential for moving toward intimacy, whether with people or with God. One step we can take is to become a source of connection and intimacy for others, offering them a chance to experience the closeness we all seek.

Living our entire lives in loneliness would be a profound tragedy. Can we recognize that loneliness is pointing us toward intimacy, and are we humble enough to accept our deep need for connection? Can we take the steps necessary to bridge the gap from loneliness to intimacy?

 

Notes,

Rolheiser, R. (2014). Sacred fire: A vision for a deeper human and Christian maturity. Image.