Gift of Giving

 

            Humans long for contentment and fulfilment. Throughout the ages, people have tried to find contentment and fulfilment. One way of searching for contentment, of course barely successful, is the lifestyle of “having”. It seems, more than before, our society is drawn towards adopting the path of having to find contentment. Having more and more things can give a sense of security and inflate our self-esteem. However, the sense of security soon gives into fear of losing the things we possess and therefore into stronger insecurity. The sense of self-esteem based on having many and luxurious things is like a balloon which can blast at a small prick of our limitations which lie hidden in our possessions. Or otherwise, the air leaks out gradually but certainly, and the balloon of self-esteem shrinks. We need to have things required for a dignified living, however, a lifestyle based on having is not a sure path to experiencing contentment and fulfilment. 

Today, many companies which sell various commodities and media fight tooth and nail to make us believe that to be happy we need to have. It can be incredibly hard to think of an alternate lifestyle when a society believes and lives overly dependent on having. But the whole universe and our very lives are rooted in the gift of giving. A seed breaks itself and offers its life to others. A tree gives shade, medicine, flowers, and fruits. The sun gives heat and light. The whole universe is a sacrament of giving. If the universe stops giving, humans will cease to exist.

We were born and grew up because our parents, particularly our mothers, who chose to give themselves to us. Giving might have been hard at times, yet, they gave happily and found a sense of contentment. A joyful giving leads to contentment. Can we have our lives rooted in the gift of giving rather than having? Today, the universe is calling us to learn from itself and widen our circles of giving. 

HOPE – The Gift of Easter

    The journey of Jesus from Jerusalem to Calvary is a journey of hope. The days of Paschal Triduum are filled with a movement from sadness to joy, pain to healing, abandonment to reconciliation, fear to faith, darkness to light, death to life and despair to hope. All these experiences of intense emotions were felt by Jesus, Mother Mary, disciples and others who loved Jesus and believed in Him. Jesus entered through the heart of sadness, abandonment, fear, darkness, death, and despair to reach new life and hope. Thus, He became for each one of us the source and model for moving toward a new life and hope. 

Most probably, you too might have gone through the experiences of pain and despair in your own life. Pain and despair can come to you in many ways – Someone might have hurt or rejected you, or you might have lost a dear one and so on. Now, pick one of such events and reflect on how Jesus can inspire you to move toward a new hope. Through the Paschal Mystery, Jesus has shown by his own example that death and despair are not final. If we unite ourselves with Him, we too can move every day from death to life and despair to hope. 

Wish you a Happy Easter filled with Hope!

Brokenness of Jesus a Means of Healing

            

             Jesus experienced an intense form of brokenness when he was rejected by his own, including his most intimate followers, and crucified at Calvary. We hear this most poignantly in his cry of isolation to his Abba, Father: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27: 46). Dr. James Adams beautifully writes about the brokenness of Jesus on the cross. In his booklet, Cross Examinations: Stations Of The Cross, one can hear the voice of Jesus saying, 

I was dying – and it hurt. I was alone, so utterly alone. I had never felt that way before. I was sinking to hell and wondered if I would come back. I said, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” … Some of you may think I cried “My God, why have you forsaken me?” only because I was reciting a psalm or fulfilling a Scripture passage. But I said that because I felt it profoundly. I was lost. I was despairing, even if I didn’t stay in despair for very long. This cry was not pretending. How could it be? Could I have lived and died as a man without experiencing despair and doubt? 

Adams in the above reflection states that even Jesus in his experience of abandonment on the Cross felt extreme brokenness. If Jesus experienced such intense form of brokenness then can we escape from brokenness? Truly Jesus experienced human brokenness, as the letter to Hebrews also says that he became like us in all ways, except sin. The brokenness of Jesus was not the result of his sins, as can be the case with our brokenness. His brokenness does not bring brokenness to others, but instead brings healing. Can we also allow God to use our brokenness as a means of blessing and healing for others and ourselves? 

John Baptist OFM Cap. | Clinical Counselor & Psychospiritual Resource Person | Pennsylvania, USA

Notes

John Baptist, 2021, Brokenness to Wholeness, Delhi: Media House. 

 

Befriending Suffering

 

John Baptist

Clinical Counselor

 

Pain and suffering are often an essential part of the fabric of our lives. When we view suffering as a curse, we end up thinking of ourselves as rejectable, unlovable, and worthless. When we call ourselves cursed by God or others then we have already assumed that we are not loved. Our experiences of suffering as a curse and therefore as a sign of our worthlessness can lead us into the dark pit of depression, sometimes culminating in suicide. We cannot avoid suffering but we can learn how best to respond to it. There is a better way of understanding our suffering than as a curse: we can befriend suffering and view it in the light of blessing (Henry Nouwen). 

Even a small experience of suffering viewed as a curse can lead to feelings of worthlessness and meaninglessness in life. Whereas, understanding suffering in the light of blessing can lead to feelings of joy and meaningfulness in life. In the light of blessing, even heavy burdens become light and intensely painful experiences become a bedrock for joy and meaning in life.   

           Understanding suffering in the light of blessing does not really explain the why of suffering, instead it becomes a means of deeper union with God and others. In this new understanding, not only joy but also sorrow becomes a path that leads to God. Henry Nouwen invites us to embrace our suffering. He says, “Befriending it [suffering] and putting it under blessing do not necessarily make our pain less painful…. And still, embracing it and bringing it into the light of the One who calls us the Beloved can make our brokenness shine like a diamond”. Suffering viewed in the light of blessing can indeed transform our dull and rough life so that we shine like a polished diamond. 

 

Notes

Henry Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World

Mathew 11: 30 – “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”.

 

Suffering: Not a Curse

John Baptist

Clinical Counselor

Different people understand suffering in different ways. Some might understand and experience suffering as a curse. Living our suffering as a curse means that “we experience our pain as a confirmation of our negative feelings about ourselves” (Henry Nouwen). Pain can emerge when we experience physical hurts and sicknesses, emotional and spiritual struggles, broken and abusive relationships, social and cultural exploitations, or separations and deaths. Pain hurts and can lead to suffering. Unfortunately, the painful events in our lives are often understood as a curse – punishment from God or rejection from human beings. 

The human mind craves explanations for what happens in our life, particularly for pain and suffering. Sadly, we can form a self-destructive belief wherein we consider ourselves worthless, deserving only rejection and misfortune. Over and over, we can convince ourselves saying, “See, I knew I was useless and unlovable. No one cares about me, including God. Now, I am sure of this because of how they hurt and reject me”. If we have already yielded to negative beliefs about ourselves, particularly those of self-rejection and loathing, then every form of pain and suffering only confirms them in a self-fulfilling prophecy. In the moments of suffering, the question “Why” — Why me? Why now? — becomes ever-haunting, and we are easily seduced consciously or unconsciously into connecting painful events with a curse. Nouwen, in his wisdom, states, “When we have cursed ourselves or have allowed others to curse us, it is very tempting to explain all the brokenness we experience as an expression or confirmation of this curse”. 

The process of understanding suffering invites us to diagnose the undercurrents of negative feelings about ourselves. Once we detect them we can dare to break the fetters of self-destructive beliefs, particularly the belief of self-rejection. 

 

Notes

Henry Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World

 

St Joseph: Shadow of the Heavenly Father

John Baptist

Clinical Counselor

 

            St Joseph played a very vital role in the salvation history. He is a role model for every person, religious or secular. Please find below some thoughts and insights on St Joseph found in the book St Joseph: Shadow of the Heavenly Father.

·      The renowned descendant of David does not vanish into thin air but stays at the helm of the holy family, taking momentous decisions but always in prompt obedience to God’s will revealed to him. (Paolose Mangai)

·      His [St Joseph) name means increase. (Robert William)

·      Pope Pius IX declared St Joseph as the Patron of the Universal Church. (Fr Thomas Tharayil)

·      Saint Joseph reminds us that those who appear hidden or in the shadows can play an incomparable role in the history of salvation. (Bp Ignatius Mascarenhas)

·      No dialogues… just action. (Leetha Lawrence)

·      According to St Augustine, St Joseph’s role as the foster father of Jesus Christ was not accidental but predestined. (Metro Xavier)

·      St Joseph is a model of patience and perseverance, who works quetly... (Nimmy Das)

·      Where did Jesus get this image of God as Father? Definitely it is from his human father Joseph that Jesus learnt how loving a father can be. (Shalini Mulackal)

·      Silence is persuasive, effective, lovely, and even essential for a meaningful life. (Sunder Wilson)

·      How could a village reject it’s own son, especially as he returned home with a pregnant wife… (Mathew Palachuvattil)

·      St. Joseph, the divine dreamer, invites each one of us to drop our selfish desires and become a part of God’s dream for humanity. (Bensy Maria Sangeetham)

·      The life of Joseph invites couples to learn to discover beauty and meaning in their failures, doubts, and struggles. (Rita James)

·      God found in Joseph a trustworthy ‘father’ to whom he could entrust the care of his only-begotten son. (Bp Agnelo Rufino Gracias) 

·      Holiness is not a passive belonging to God but an active belonging where one becomes wholly available to God, like St. Joseph. (John Baptist)

 

Notes

John Baptist & Team, (Ed.). (2021). St Joseph: Shadow of the Heavenly Father. Mumbai: Pauline Publications. 

Suffering and the Gift of Accompaniment

John Baptist

11^th March 2022

Suffering is as old as human beings. People suffer from sickness, natural calamities, exploitation, abuse, broken relationships, old age and death to name a few. Some suffering might be caused by ourselves but not all. Many times people are innocent, yet they suffer. Human beings struggle to understand the mystery of suffering. A few days ago, I was discussing the theme of suffering with one of my friends in Pennsylvania, USA. My friend said something very striking. She said, “The existence of suffering in a world created by a loving God still is beyond our human comprehension. It can only be accepted in surrender and faith". Understanding suffering can become harder when we situate it in the context of God. The question, “If God is so loving, then why did God create suffering or allow it to spread?” might haunt us. There are mysteries of life that we may never be able to solve; suffering is one such mystery. It is desirable to increase our understanding of life, but we need to abandon our futile efforts to solve every problem of life, particularly that of suffering. For we cannot wipe out suffering totally. So, what should we do in the face of suffering?

The concept that comes to my mind is accompaniment. Accompaniment is journeying with the sufferer, understanding their pain as they experience it and being willing to offer help that might reduce their burden and give hope and courage to them. Accompaniment may or may not require words. For instance, a mother who just lost her child may not feel helped by words of consolation but being with her compassionately can bring healing. We cannot solve all the problems of people but we can accompany them in their suffering. We also need to have the courage to acknowledge our own suffering and to humble ourselves to allow others to accompany us in our pain. As counsellors, family members, or friends we can be open to the gift of accompaniment in the face of suffering.